Dead Or Alive
by eckles
Summary: A Homage piece to Robocop: A.D.A.M. was part machine/demon.But the demon aspect was never part of the original plan. When the men with the stars on their shoulders become curious towards whether the project could work, they seek a vic...er ... volunteer. Guess which of the Scooby's gets chosen
1. Chapter 1

There were very few rooms in the Pentagon that was as secure and treated with as much paranoia as the one with the four walls that surrounded the dozen Two-Star, a single Three-Star General, and the one lone Nobel Prize Winning Laureate. Dr. Edmund Gray sat tall and unimpressed amongst the gathering of distinguished and professional Soldier's that would have had men of lesser credentials then himself tremble. Fore the olive uniforms, the brightly coloured garnish of ribbons and medals on their left breasts, and stone-etched dispassionate expressions were indeed intimidating. But as stated, he was not a 'lesser' man.

The good Doctor of the blooming, yet still pioneering discipline of Biophysics sat silently and very validated in self. He was not expecting to receive an apology; he would expect Hell too freeze over first. The best that he could have hoped for was recognition from those about him that he was Right and that they were wrong. That they had errored in placing his Project into the rasping hands of a Psychiatrist. Someone who was more concerned with their ability to interpret minds than to accomplish true scientific breakthroughs

Dr Margaret Walsh's credentials were impressive, but they were sadly lacking when compared to his own numerous achievements. He conceived the Project, he designed the Hardware to be used, and he outlined the parameters of its success and failure. Project: A.D.A.M. was his baby. A product of his mind, and his alone.

Yet despite his claim to parenthood, these men handed control of his 'child' over to another. For no other reason then because she said she could make it work first go. Any self-respecting Scientist could have attested to the fact that everything was not a guarantee on the first try, that is why there are things technically known as 'Trials'. Yet these educated ones sitting about him were too anxious to Walsh's enthusiasm and too dismissive to his caution. Which was indeed validated after the fiasco that had occurred.

Yes, if he were indeed a lesser man he would revel in her and their collected failure. But this meeting was not about blame. This meeting, as he understood it, was about salvaging a Project that was now tainted, and making it pure once more. Sub-Terrestrial bio-matter was never supposed to have been included into the experiment, but it was by Walsh. And in his belief, its inclusion had somehow corrupted the end Product. A.D.A.M was supposed to have been the perfect amalgamation of artificial organs, mechanical limbed prosthesis and living man.

Walsh had abandoned his 'Dream' and replaced it with her own. Only her 'Dream' was everybody else's nightmare. Sixty percent of cutting-edge technology and artificial organs were placed on the shelf in favour of her introduction of one's from Sub-T's. A.D.A.M. was not about creating an unstoppable hybrid-Warrior. It was about perfecting a science that would enable Soldier's who had lost limbs and internal organs from injuries in battle the opportunity to be repaired and made whole once more. Either to be placed once again out into the Field of combat, or to be returned home to live a full and productive life with family and friends. To be better then they had been before whatever incident had befallen them.

It was all about perfecting an infant science of bio-mechanical construction that would make transplants obsolete, and wheelchair manufacturers go out of business within years of being introduced. A.D.A.M's potential was limitless, America was going to lead the way in bionic's and artifical limbs, and he was going to undoubtedly receive a second Noble Prize as a result of all his efforts if it became a success.

All these things could happen, it was still all-possible and all within his 'Dreams' reach depending upon the outcome of this very meeting today.

From the end of the table the Three-Star General addressed the quiet room. "You've all read Finn's Report and seen the Footage that was provided?" Singular nods were exchanged by the men who rarely said anything, yet when they did it typically foretold ill for some Country in the World. "Well then Gentlemen, we have ourselves a Problem. Billions have been spent on the construction of the Initiative Compound and of the various Projects' running within it. Not Millions - Billions! Those kind of zero's get noticed, people.

"We can't blame the Jap's, the Russkies or the Towel-Heads. This serpent in the Garden was ours, Boy's and Girls. We created it. But were we the one's who stopped it? No. It was a Cheerleader, a Lesbian, A middle-aged Limey Librarian and a Pizza-Delivery Boy!" The Three-star slammed his fist down hard on the tabletop to emphasise his displeasure at the titles he had given the saviours of the hour. "I thought that place was stocked with the crème of the Fighting Force, Jim? Isn't that what you told me last year when you asked me to sign off on the deployment of our Elite to that no-where berg?"

'Jim' looked uncomfortable as all eyes in the room fell on him, but he didn't loose his composure to the insinuation of his decision making abilities. You did not make it to being a Two-Star by having those kinds of doubts. "They were our 'Best', Sir. And this should give you an appreciation of how dangerous their Opposition were. We trained them to be silent Hero's and that's how they all died. Their bodies as well as the carcasses of the enemy have been seal up under the Fraternity House that was their 'front'. Their families have received the standard excuse for their 'Departure' from service, and their sacrifice to Duty will be remembered. As too the four you mentioned Sir, I respectfully ask you to re-read Lt. Finn's account. The Cheerleader is apparently what is known in their community as a Slayer, a unique young woman in possession of strength and speed ten-times that of a normal man.

"The Lesbian is, if you believe in this kind of thing, a Witch with potential and power beyond our scope of understanding.

"The Librarian is a member of an Order known as 'Watchers' that have studied and specialized in Sub-Terrestrial activity for Centuries. All the books on this sort of thing? Well, they practically wrote them all.

"As for the Pizza Delivery Boy, well, actually he's an Ice Cream Van Operator – recently fired." This earnt a chuckle amongst the gathering, one that 'Jim' allowed to settle before he proceeded. "Yet regardless of his humbling profession, if you have viewed the same footage as I haver, you will notice that he negotiated the Hall's of the Initiative like a Veteran. Even coming to the aid of several of our 'Elite' whilst still directing and protecting his own 'Unit' towards A.D.A.M. Member's of the Initiative who survived the engagement owe their lives to this young man's timely intervention."

The Three-Star stood up from his seat and addressed 'Jim', yet his words were for everybody. "It still doesn't alter the fact that they embarrassed the Hell out of us. How are we going to explain this fallout on 'The Hill'? We'll be a laughing stock. Any future 'Black Bag' expenses will be scrutinized by the 'Chief' all because of this. These - 'people' bent us over a table and took us to town good and proper. Our 'Boys' screwed the pooch and they rescued our hash!"

Jim stood up from his seat slowly, careful to make this action not look like a challenge to the senior Officer, placing his finger's level on the darkly varnished table. "In preparation of today, I have had Lt. Finn fly in for a debriefing. He can give you all a first hand Account, and add any filling to the gaps of his Report that you feel require it." With his right hand 'Jim' place a finger on an intercom button as the Three-Star began to take his seat once more. "We're ready for Finn now. Send him in."

Three seconds later two armed Marines opened the sealed doors to allow the Army Lieutenant access to the room.

[15-minutes later]

"And that's it?" 'Jim' lent further forward in his seat, scrutinising the impassive baby-face of the Lieutenant. "You have nothing more to add? Because if you do, this is certainly the time to do it son."

Stiffly and still at the attention he was not allowed to release himself from until Ordered, Riley Finn answered the question. "No, Sir. I stand by everything in my Report and what I have presented here today."

'Jim' looked about the large table to see if there were any other one or two stars wishing to make an inclusion before the young soldier was dismissed.

Riley, sensing that his time was about to come to an end and that he would possibly have very little opportunity in the near future to express an opinion on the recent misadventure to a group of people who actually managed such clandestined projects he chose to take a chance. "Umm, Sir?"

"Yes, Lieutenant?"

"May I make a recommendation? A recommendation based on an actual face-to-face encounter with the 'Project' in question?"

Again 'Jim' looked around the table to see if anyone was willing to object. Silence reigned, so the Two-Star General nodded and addressed the young soldier. "And that recommendation would be, Finn?"

"A.D.A.M. should never have happened, Sir. There are some lines we are not supposed to cross, and we crossed it in a big way with this Thing. We're all lucky to still be here, Sir. If A.D.A.M. had his way we'd be all harvested body-parts by now. If not for the Local Unit*"

The Three-star, who had been silent up until now interjected at this point. "*Yes, err, what was it that you call them? The Scooby's? Is that their name?" The Three-Star surrendered a deep and derisive laugh, one that was joined by many at the table over the foolish moniker of the 'Sunnydale Saviours'

Unfazed, Riley turned his head to face the man addressing him without altering his stance. "Yes, Sir. That's the name they have assumed, they started out fighting Sub-T's in High School and the male member of the group dubbed them the 'Scooby Gang' as a tribute to his favorite TV Show when growing up. He saw what they were doing and the cartoon as simular, solving mysteries, facing down monsters, etc. Except in their case the monster's, ghosts and vampires they were facing were real. This aside, a more capable and dedicated collection of people you'll never meet. Each one a true compliment to the other. What one lacks, the other's makes up for."

"Even the Delivery Boy?"

"Sir?"

"This - Harris. I'm curious how a man with no training, skill or personal stake was allowed to participate in the raiding of the Initiative Compound. Not once, but from your own admittance - twice!"

"Well Sir, the first was with Buffy - the Vampire Slayer, and they both did so without my knowledge or consent. The second, well, he - he had to be there, Sir."

"To be part of this Hocus-Pocus nonsense?"

"Magic exists, Sir. Dismiss it if you wish. But it's real. I've seen it. And yes, he had to be there for that 'Hocus-Pocus', because without that hocus-pocus A.D.A.M. would have won the Day."

The Three Star shifted uneasily in his seat at being corrected, even if it was _politely_ corrected. "Don't get me wrong Son, the other's of this 'Scooby Regiment' of yours, against my better judgement, I can understand too a point. But him? I'm sorry? The Boy's a Wash-Out. What does he offer to the mix. Of everyone in your Report his character assessment and statistics is the most vague. Could you explain that to me, Son?"

"Well - he's Xander, Sir."

"Oh, well, that makes perfect sense now. Thank you, Finn. And here I was concerned, gentleman. Concerned that a civilian with a 'B-' Average was allowed access into one of the most fortified and most secretive facilities in America without any prior vexing at all. But I am now assured because according to Sgt. Finn _'He's Xander, Sir._'"

Another round of chuckles rose up around the table, Riley remained at attention and silent, not even wishing to correct the General that he had addressed him by the incorrect rank in the advent that the General would make it perminent decision and not one obviously used to belittle him infront of his superiors.

When the laughter died, the Three-Star leaned forward in his chair. "That and a Quarter won't get you much from me, Lieutenant. Not even Coffee."

"Sorry, Sir. What I meant to say is that Xander Harris is one of those people you want at your side in a crisis. He's one of those men that can be found in any successfully operating Team, Sir. He's the Support you need when you need it the most. You fall in lost behind Enemy Lines; he's the guy you can count on to bring you back Home. He's the man who watches your back when you're unable too, Sir."

The Three-star accessed the words offered, processing them carefully. "In short, what you're saying Lieutenant is that when you're stupid enough to find yourself pissing into the wind that he's the man whose holding the umbrella?"

"No, Sir. What I am saying is that if you are stupid enough to piss into the wind, that this man chooses to BE the umbrella." There fell a silence in the room, and Riley Finn was conscious of the hostile eyes now directed at him for daring to correct a Superior. Especially a Three-Star Superior in such a crass manner. He had just committed Career suicide; he could count himself lucky if he didn't find himself on 'KP-Duty' for the next decade for forgetting his place. But instead of receiving an immediate reprimand for his tone all he received was a dry chuckle from the man at the end of the table. And from the movement of the senior General's shoulders, Riley, could tell he was trying, and also succeeding, in holding back a deep and genuine laugh. Not a fake or derisive one that he had been using for most of this meeting.

"I like you Finn, you don't mince your words. I appreciate that. Now, about A.D.A.M., if I'm reading you as you want to be read, your opinion is to scrape the Project entirely?"

"Yes, Sir."

"NO!" All eyes now looked astoundly at the quiet Doctor who throughout the entire proceeding had remained silent sitting in the corner of the room, observing the proceedings without comment. "No. You cannot be seriously considering this. Not on the opinion of this - this 'Grunt'."

The Three-star turned his attention to the Laureate. "This 'Grunt' is the only one in this room who has faced off with your Creation, Doctor*"

"*That was not my Creation!"

"Hang on." With the endorsement of the Three-star, Lt. Finn felt a certain amount of invulnerability within these walls now. "A.D.A.M. was yours?"

"The Project was mine. A.D.A.M. however became Walsh's. That was NOT my A.D.A.M. My A.D.A.M. was about benefiting Mankind through introduction of Artificial Organ's and appendages. This perfected Science and technology was not introduced to the late Major Hamil; instead Dr. Walsh deposited adverse and 'Alien' Sub-Terrestrial DNA into him instead. Creating that - abomination. My A.D.A.M. was about helping Mankind, not perverting it."

"That's enough Doctor; the Lieutenant doesn't have this kind of Clearance to participate in the Project's discussion. He is offering an opinion on what he knows from what he has seen, he is impatial. At the end of the day, the decision of whether we will proceed or redirect your research to another department will be this Panel's to make. It will not be your's, or his. Are we clear?"

"NO! It is not enough; you are threatening to shelve my research and a decades worth of work on the bias words of this man. I have a right to be heard, and to voice my Objection. You say he has no Clearance but your all hanging on his uneducated perspective, on words that will condemn a Project to which he is not fully appraised of. Placing the fate of Research and Development that could help many veteran's reclaim their lives, all on his ignorant opinion!"

With a sly smile the Three-star looked at the Doctor, and then about the room. "Let's adjourn this matter here, shall we. I think we all have an understanding of things in Sunnydale at the moment. Doctor Gray, I assure you we are not abandoning your work. Too much Government Money has been spent thus far, but until an able recipient presents himself or herself your 'Toys' will remain un-used for the moment. Lt. Finn you can consider your status as being now on 'Active-Leave', enjoy it while you can. If the need arises however, you will be expected to Report for Duty immanently."

"Yes, Sir."

"Very well Gentleman. I think it's time you all left the room." At this order the Three-star swivelled his chair so that it's back faced the gathering and one-by-one, with very perplexed looks on their faces, the Generals and Lieutenant left his company. "You may leave also, Doctor."

"This isn't over!" The statement came out more as a rash unintentional threat then anything else, but it got the attention of the one it was directed toward.

The Three-star turned to face the Project Creator, his voice harder. "No Doctor, it's not. I'll stay close to your Test-Tubes if I were you. You'll get your Guinea Pig. And if you ever talk back to me again in that tone and in the presence of my subordinates, well, let me put it this way, the Initiative isn't the only thing that can disappear with a whisk of a Pen."

With this said the Nobel Prize Winner left the General's company, and as the doors closed and sealed the Three-star pressed a small stub under the table. A second later a compartment Door opened and a casually dressed man walked out.

Major Peter Harman, was not like other Major's who walked the halls of the Pentagon. He was unlike the others in the fact that he didn't exist; yet his face was known by all in the five-point building. He wore no Uniform or carried an insignia of Rank, not even the President knew he existed. But still he walked unmolested by Security. He was a 'No-Where' Man. A Black-Bagger. If you knew his name then he wasn't doing his job well enough. He was just a 'Face' in the crowd. He was a Man the President called, or would call if he knew he existed, when there was a problem to be solved permanently. And even if the 'Commander-and-Chief' did know for certain of his existence he would still deny this knowledge. Major Harman was the Man you called when it was time unfriendly Regimes were to be overthrown and you wished no connection to America be made. He was the Man contacted when some people's voices were becoming louder then they should and whose voices, after his intervention, became a great deal quieter or silenced - through causes natural or overt, depending upon how deep the message needed to go.

The General leaned back in his chair and affixed Harman with a piercing gaze. "You heard?"

With a sneer the Major answered. "No, you know me better then that, Sir. I never hear anything that is told me, about me, or to me. Especially, to anything said in THIS room."

The Three-star looked up appreciatively at his Protégé and laughed alittle at the joke made. "I want them gone, Peter. All of those Sunnydale Misfit's. Gone completely and without a trace. And I need to get Gray off my back with this A.D.A.M. nonsense. Anyone with an ounce of common sense knows that it's doomed; he's just too damn stubborn to admit he failed."

Harman dared to venture an opinion on what was obviously a very sticky subject. "A.D.A.M. does have merit, Sir."

"Of coarse it does, Man. Which is why we Green-lighted it." A thought then struck the General. "I don't want the Doctor 'gone'; I just want him silenced and satisfied that we are proceeding with his 'Vision' - at least, how he sees it. I don't need waves made at the moment with the man who signs our Cheques. I swear, one Photo-Op with that Backcountry-Sex-crazed Yokel and he thinks of themselves as close and personal friends. Regardless, after the headache caused with the demise of the 'Initiative', I don't need to be called to the Oval Office for an explanation like a rebellious 10-year old being directed to the Principle's Office. So, do you have ideas on how we can take care of all of these, without it attracting any - undue attention? This is your area of specialty, afterall. I want it quick, clean and without collateral on our end."

"What about Finn, Sir?"

"He's a good Soldier, a bit rigid. Doubt he'll ever make it beyond Captain or Major. Too uncreative, can't think out of the box. But a damn good Soldier regardless. Best we keep him operational."

The Major nodded as he drew the table's ashtray closer to where he was standing beside his Mentor. "If by chance I did 'hear' what was said in here, Sir. I think I will need, at the very least full surveillance of the individuals in question, psyche profiles, phone and computer taps. Private E-mail Accounts – the Works, Sir. I will not only need to know what they had for breakfast yesterday, but what they'll planning to have for it tomorrow. And when I say the 'Works' I mean that with extra cheese and a Salad on the side. Everything I ask for I must have, no questions."

The General seemed to be studying a scratch on the table intently. "No questions? The last time we handled an operation like that we ended up getting pulled before Committee."

"Well what do you expect, you had Madison over see that Operation. That guy needs direction's to find his own feet, so of coarse he's going to leave a paper trail. The guy make's Maxwell Smart look like James Bond."

Looking up smiling slightly at the 34-year old the Three-star asked. "can you do this? Under the table and off the books?"

The Major got a far away look in his eye, followed by a sinister glint the the General knew did not bode well for someone in the world. "Yeah, it can be done. Won't be easy. We're talking a three to four tier operation, one that could easily fall apart with any number of outside veribles. But if it all comes together, then we come up smelling like roses and everyone else goes down in flames all the while thanking us as they do."

The Three-star then started to wave his right index finger at the Major with amusement. "Okay, Peter, out with it." Pride beaming off every word at how quickly the 30-year junior had formulated a plan to accompany all his wishes.

Lighting a cigarette, the Major looked down at the seated Superior and smiled back. "The Doc won't leave this bone until he gets a chance to fulfil the requirements of the A.D.A.M. Project as he had set then down – True? He needs what you said to him, a Guinea Pig. The Answer – we give him one. That'll shut him up, and get the Boss-Man to let up on us in case the Doc tries to circumnavigate your Authority.

"We also have ourselves a bunch of unsanctioned Civilians waging their own private war. A Slayer and Watcher are probably too important and will be missed by somebody if they disappear. A Witch? I haven't got a clue, but if what Finn says is on the money about her then I'm not tangling with that one if I can help it. The weakest and strongest link here is Harris. Xander Harris."

"He's a nobody, forget him. He's barely worth the price of a bullet."

"No, Sir. He's not a 'nobody'. If he is as 'Lieutenant Wonder-bread' says - the Umbrella, then we got something to work with." Harman drew in a deep breath through his filtered cigarette and exhaled a thick blanket of smoke. "You lose Harris, and they not only lose their morale, but their 'Protection' as well. The other three will fall, or bail out. Either way, Harris disappearing should work in our favour."

"So you think a timely car accident?"

"No, actually I was thinking of something a little more creative and along the lines of killing two big birds with one relatively small stone. The Doc needs a Guinea Pig, a body. Maybe we can get Harris to be that Body."

"So your thinking a Kidnapping? A little pedestrian for you, Peter. You usually think of these things grander in scale."

The Major pull a face, indicating that wasn't quite what he meant but didn't wish to correct his superior. "Kidnapping? No and at the same time 'Yes', Sir. It was fortunate that Finn was here when Gray spoke out about the Project. He now knows that we have spare artificial body parts waiting for use. So? Let him make the Call to us. Let us look like the good guy's. Any Group that can take down that Frankenstein Monstrosity is one I personally don't wanna be on the wrong end of. So have them seek us out. Have them ask a favour from us. And we, as the magnanimous benefactors, shall grant it.

The Major drew out the chair next to the General's and waited for the gesture of permission to join him in sitting. With a wave of the aged warrior's hand, the super operative sat down and continued with his explanation. "We organise a believable 'incident' for Harris in Finn's presence. If he's as concrete and as predictable as you and I both believe, then he might try and institute his friend into the Doc's Project in an effort to save his life. Taking care of Doc Gray's 'bone' in full. With these 'Scoobies' being told later on that he died on the operating table, or in transit or something else. He then becomes as good as ours. To do with as we will. And at the end of the day we still come off looking like the Good Guy's to them because we atleast tried to save their best friend's 'Life'.

"If Harris is as central to the group as I believe him to be then they will become disheartened at his 'loss'. Disheartened people make mistakes and mistakes out in the Field result in death." He the smirked as he touched the ash into the metal tray in front of him. "Sad, but true. In taking care of one person we inturn take care of all of them. Given time each should disappear due to their own distractions and there will be no link to us by the people who might search for one."

The General nodded slowly in a rhythmic fashion, as the plan was laid out before him. Discovery was in truth minimal and the objective was very achievable. After less then a minute of careful contemplation of the pro's and con's the Three-star stood up from his leather chair and looked Major Harman in the eye's. "Do it. All of it. How soon are we looking to fruition if you start today?"

The Major joined the General in exiting his seat and stood at full attention as he answered the Senior Officer. "One week to get an understanding of the Subject's involved. The second for surveillance, and the third, possibly, to arrange a believable accident for Harris that will have no one any the wiser. Three weeks at the soonest, Sir, one month at the latest. As you might appreciate Sir, with an Operation like this it is all about the timing. Placing Harris and member's of the 'Misfits' in an encounter that would have them automatically draw them to contact us, yet still not to jeopardise Harris's life until after our intervention will be the trickiest part and shall require coordination of several independent teams."

The General began to walk towards the only 'known' door to the Room. "There is only one fly in this ointment, Peter. They're all Private Citizen's."

"When has that ever stopped us before?" The Major asked offhandedly.

"These aren't Radical's, Peter."

"No offence, Sir. But yes they are. They're just not the Radicals we're used too. These People are a different form of Vigilante. And I have no tolerance for Vigilantes in my Country."

"Good. Good answer. That's as good an Answer as we can expect if things go 'South', and we get called to explain ourselves."

"A lot better then '_they made the United States Armed Services look like a bunch of low-gene-pool Draftee's_'. And things won't go South, Sir. You know me better then that, within the Month - Gray will be jumping for Joy, and these Scoobs will be weeping buckets of grief."

"Excellent. Ohh, and Peter about this 'Discussion' -" The General eyed his subordinate firmly.

Harman looked utterly innocent towards his Mentor visual administrations. "What 'discussion', Sir? I don't recall us having any 'Discussion'."

With another smile and a hand grasping the door handle the Three-star looked over his shoulder to lone figure and answered. "Good Man." He then opened the door and exited the most thought of secure and paranoid inspiring room in the Pentagon.

Major Peter Harman looked thoughtfully at the door for a few seconds, his eyes showing the deep thought he put into the problems he now faced. He then pushed the General's chair back underneath the table, he emptied the ash tray into a waste paper basket and wiped it clean. Returning it to the place of origin in the middle of the table. Standing behind the replaced leather chair he then did a quick surveillance of the room and exited the same way he had entered. Leaving no visible trace that he was even there. Unknown and unseen by the two armed Marines out the front of the room.

Forever being the 'No-Where' Man he was trained to be.

_**DOADOADOADOA**_

[3-weeks and two-day's later]

She looked down upon the twinkling lights of the Hellmouth and smiled at the beauty before her. It was sights like the one in front of her eyes that made it difficult to believe that anything evil could be spewed from anything so incredibly 'Norman-Rockwell Perfect'. But still, evil did inhabit and walked about this idyllic town and did so on a near nightly basis.

It was a Goldilocks-Night. Not too cold, not too hot, it was again for lack of a better word - perfect. The Moon even went to the trouble of holding itself pregnant and bright in the evening sky above her making it a night especially meant for Lover's to enjoy. And Elizabeth 'Buffy' Anne Summers knew, with some resentment, that there were indeed Lover's in the town below that were enjoying the universe's grace about them tonight. But alas she could not. This was not due to the absence of her lover, a Mr. Lt. Riley Finn, because he was very much close by and availible. It was because her Boyfriend and she were sadly and frustratingly not alone on this magical night. There was one other, not uninvited or unwelcomed, but his presence was still one that distracted them both from the typical mischief and flirting the couple usually did on their Patrols together.

Tonight started out as being a quiet night in the company of friends, with some recreational slaying time with her 'Honey' planned later on.

Tonight was going to be a 'Bronze Night'.

A full evening of planned merriment by one of her oldest friends to unite the original Scooby's and to draw the new closer into the fold. A chance to reminise on old adventures and voice on the possibility of new. But to many in the small group it all sounded pretty redundent and silly, afterall, as a group they all more or less hung out with each other all the time anyway. But Xander had asked, and he had asked for so little from her and Willow since they started going to Sunndale University and living on Campus. So 'his girls' both happily, if slightly and reluctantly, agreed to the arrangement. Especially after he started throwing the whole _'I understand, if you don't want to be seen in public with a Townie'_ riff. It was self-depreciating comments like that which always had both her and the witch exchange guilty glances, which is probably why Xander always used it. He knew it would always get them to jump on his 'Pity-Train'.

But to his credit he never over did it when he did fire that _'bullet from his gun'_, he mentioned it once and then moved on. Everyone knew that Xander often felt like the odd man out in the group, afterall, everyone in the graduating Scoobs got accepted into College, even Cordelia - a good one. But the May Queen chose, due to family financial issues, to pursue her acting and modeling career in LA instead. When the days started to pass after her 'Acceptance Letter', Buffy knew that there was something fishing in the State of Sunnydale. Afterall, how did she get accepted into SDU but somehow Xand didn't? Her Grades and his in Sunnydale High were almost neck and neck, in fact if she was to be completely honest with herself, with all the extra tutoring he got from both Willow and Cordy and with all the distractions she had with the angsty-drama she was dealing with over her relationship with Angel, at the end of the day he actually did slightly better then her in a few more subjects.

So when her 'Acceptance' letter arrived in the Post with an offer to attend, of all places, Hellmouth U, she knew once the initial shock of the moment had worn off that somehow the Council must have pulled some strings to keep her in Sunnydale. Afterall, Sunnydale University was not the only Campus she sent applications to, she must have posted dozens. But SDU was the only one that told her that she had 'gotten in'. And SDU was also the only one that also offered her bestest female friend, Willow Rosenburg a full-do-as-you-please-and-we'll-look-the-other-way-Scholarships. But unfortunately by the time she had figured all this out (with a little bit of help from Willow, Oz and Giles in joining the dotts) her pride was very much comprimised now to this achievement. She would have felt like a real loser, if after discovering what had been done for her, she had to tell her overjoyed Mom that her place at SDU was not one earned by her 'book-smarts' but had in fact been 'bought and paid for' by the Watcher's Council.

In order to bury this discovery of their's the three of them (she, Oz, Will and Giles) chose to never mention it again to either eachother or to anyone else. Thereby preventing any risk of Xander accidently discovering the truth and feeling as though he had been intentionally overlooked, which in her, Willow and Giles opinion the Council obviously had. At anyrate it was for this reason that she now took her College studies far more seriously then she ever did then her ones in High School. She decided that even though she may not have truly earned her place getting into College, but that didn't prevent her from sure as Hell earning her right to stay there. So whenever one of her classmate refered to him, or even when Xander called himself her _'Townie Friend'_ it would hit a guilt-nerve that would have both her and Willow drop nearly everything and anything they were doing to make him feel included in their lives again.

Tonight, unfortunately, of the planned 'Reminising and Bonding' down at the Bronze didn't start out as was hoped. Willow called quite literally at the 'twelfth-hour' with an apology. Stating that she and Tara were in the midst of performing an exciting new Spell that was taking longer then they had both expected. To the Slayer's ears however this excuse seemed way to convenient, Willow always took pains in accurately estimating these kinda things. And the sudden 'Spell-necessity' was most likely avoidance of 'group-time' in favour of her and Tara spending special 'Witchery-time' with one another instead as far as she thought.

She had hoped that when she dropped this little bombshell in the Xander's lap the exclusion of their best red-headed friend and her new girlfriend would dampen Xander's excitement for the Buddy-Buddy-Time. Thereby providing her and Riley some 'Witchery-time' of their very own. But as luck and Fate would have it, her night of romance didn't work out that wat. Because practically on the heels of Willow's phone call, Riley was then contacted on his special Cellphone. It almost seemed like God must have been listening in on their calls and her personal-naughty thoughts for her and her hunk-of-luv that night, because right then he was advised his 'on-leave' status was suspended temporarily. The now slightly miffed and more alert Lieutenant was told of a suspected grouping of Sub-T's taking up residence in one of ADAM's old haunts just on the outskirts of the Sunnydale Army Base. And as he was the only member of the Inititive stationed within 500 miles and capable of actively dealing with the Hostiles he was re-enstated back into active duty. And Xander, being -well, Xander, he asked if he could tag along and help out as he now had nothing else planned for that evening except twiddling his thumbs.

Riley had thought backup was a good idea. Afterall, three against an unknown adversery is always better odds then just two. Sure, in Buffy's mind it wasn't shaping up to be the romantic night she had hoped, but she was still with her Riley, and that was atleast something. Besides, it also offered her an opportunity to have some heart-to-heart time with the male Scoob. Over the past month she had noticed a change in him, and if she had to pin it down it she would have to say it originated around the same time they had all done the 'Joining-Spell'. Which intruth didn't surprise her in the least. He was more withdrawn, less jokey and totally not 'Xandery'. This was one of the main reasons why her and Willow originally agreed to the 'Night-out' in the first place. It was in hope that they could draw him out of this strange rut and maybe question Anya, whom they hadn't seen at their Meetings much of late. And with Riley taking 'Point', scouting ahead and living out his 'Rambo' fantasy she thought now would be the perfect time for both her and Xander to catch up with one another.

Even at the worst of times, Xander, always wore his heart on his sleeve. He may have always thought he was playing it 'Joe Cool' and under the Radar. But when things were really affecting him? Well, he was practically a Library Book. Something for everyone and their dog to borrow out and read. She had tried hard to play it down to Willow, Tara and everyone else that all Xand was obviously doing was going through a 'phase', and for the most part she believed that they were willing to give her opinion the benifit of the doubt, even if it was pure 'guff'. But the truth was she had been waiting something like this ever since the 'Spell'.

The dreaded fallout.

She predicted it's coming like an Express Train from Hell and she was just waiting until the cracks started to show so that the two of them could sit down and talk about what was obviously a very drunk and lumbering elephant in the room. The trouble, however, was she herself was having her own problems 'Dealing' with the outcomes of the Joining Spell as well. Giles and Willow went back to their normal lives as though they had not been affected at all, and in all likelihood that was probably the case. Afterall, their connection to her was more cerebral. Xander's was - well, it was personal. What he gave and showed her during those five minutes of battle with A.D.A.M. was far more 'intimate' then the offerings of both Giles and Willow. He didn't offer knowledge of Magic or the expertise on how to wield it. What he gave her was something far greater. Far simpler. Far purer. And far more powerful then any collection of words she could string together to adequately explain.

What he gave her was his complete and total Heart.

An hour earlier, before the seige on the Inititive HQ, she overheard Giles explanation to Willow on the machanics of the incantation and what it was to achieve. But she truly didn't understand or appreciate what all this meant. So she couldn't comprehend at the time how significant his contribution to the Spell would be until his 'Heart' became a resource for her to use during the fighting. But when the incantation took effect she became overwhelmed with confidence. She emerged a warrior without any doubt towards her abilities or her purpose. In a blink of an eye, Maggie Walsh's Creation, the same one that had been terrorizing her, her friends, even the safety of the Planet, now became all but a laughable inconvenience to her. Xander's inclusion gave her a control over her emotions, a control that she had never felt before in her entire life. She felt her courage swell, grow and spread throughout her body like an unyeilding and indominible storm. And during the battle, as she revelled in the power and her own sense of fearlessness, she knew somehow deep inside her mind and soul that this courage wasn't actually her's. But that it came came from him. That the courage and conviction she was feeding off of was all Xander's and his unswaying belief in her.

When the Spell concluded she fell into an instant state of mourning for what was hastely taken back by him. The strength he provided her, his faith in her, his devotion and trust. It was all more then what she could put to words, and if she could have she would've been too embarrassed to have spoken them aloud infront of every one. For his 'Heart' easily revealed, in her mind atleast, that her's was one which was sorely lacking. So when Riley returned from Washington two-weeks earlier, the boyfriend-and-girlfriend spent more then their fair share of time together. Denying the others of their company in pursuit of 'together' time. She was making an effort to make her own heart swell to the level's Xander had shown her his could. But in the interim she had allowed that figutive 'elephant' to go stomping around the room, knocking over tables and smashing chairs. And she now feared that she had put off talking to Xander about what was 'shared' far longer then she should have in favour of Riley-time. And that her friend had languished in quiet confusion all because of it.

At the beginning, when he started to 'change', she didn't notice it too much. Why would she? She was to busy in enthusiastic loving-Riley-mode to pay his slight shifts of quiet reflection anymind. He was even helping out with her most hated chore of Dawn-Patrol, so she could spend her days making Riley know why he should be ever so grateful he had a girlfriend gifted with the limbre qualities of a Slayer. She could only imagine what Anya thought of all that wasted 'Orgasim-Time' being spent playing Snakes-and-Ladders with an annoying 16 year old, when the person who was actually supposed to be babysitting was having 'Orgasim-Time' aplenty. But Xander knew how to handle the ex-Demon better then anyone she knew, and do it in a fashion that always kept a smile on her face. But still, Anya could be very possessive of Xander at times; and in the ex-vengeance Demon's mind no-one was allowed to take advantage of his natural kindness but her. And if she ever needed evidence of this all she had to do was think back to the time the group had to hole-up in Xander's parents basement for a couple of day's as they all hid from the Inititive. Hell, 'Possessive' didn't even do the word justice. She had practically peed on his leg infront of everyone to make it known to all whose property he really was. It was strange, but it was also in a very Anya-type way also very sweet. And for the first time the three of them were in happy relationships. Relationships that didn't bring either of them pain or heartache. She was with Riley; Xander was with Anya, and Willow with Tara.

But if everything was right with their dark and shadowy vamp-slaying world, then why was the hair on the back of her neck standing on end? What was going on with Xander of late that would have him want to spend so much time with them all?

As they both leanned against a large, oversized boulder, awaiting for Riley to return from his recon so that they might proceed ahead. Out of the unnerving silence being shared between them a crack appeared. Xander began to whistle.

It was one of only a couple of 'Tells', the Slayer knew Xander possessed. One was when he was trying to conceal or hide something his left eye would sometimes spasm and twitch. This was a 'Tell' she first noticed when he had his one-time fling with Faith and had worked hard to keep the matter confidential from her and the others. The second, and only other 'Tell' that she knew of was this - the whistling. Or as he calls it, his jaunty-tune-mode. And this was, as far as herself and Willow were concerned, the worst one of the two.

The Slayer bowed her head and shock it sadly to herself as she had to conceed that one of the most unpleasant things about Maggie Walsh, asides from being a Dr. Frankenstein wannabe, was that she was also an excellent teacher. And Maggie, unfortunately, had taught her well in the short time that she had been her Proffessor. Little nuances of her best friend, which she once-upon atime casually ignored, now spoke volumes to her. And it was a very sad read if she had to be honest with herself. She always knew of Xander's less then stellar homelife from the guarded snippets he would offer her from over the years, or from what Willow would carefully supply from time to time without trying to breach any trust she had with her oldest and first crush. And Xander's unconscious whistling, as deceptively upbeat as it sounded to an outsider's ear, revealed to her a very unhappy childhood.

She first noticed it when they started doing Patrol's the first year they were friends, whenever they would go into a den or suspected nest, despite urging Xander to be quiet he would instictively start whistling. It was amusing at first, especially when some of the 'nests' proved to be empty so there was no harm done. But later in the game they came across a nest that wasn't so empty, and when Xander started doing his thing again, well, it threw the whole sneaking-up-on-you plan out the window. When she later informed Giles of this, the Englishman answered that he suspected that it was somekind of involuntary nervous habit akin to people getting the hiccups when overly excited. Giles also said that the more Xander got used to Patrol's and the more second nature they became to him the more at ease he would feel and logically his subconcious whistling would also stop. The Watcher was right, because after about a month that's exactly what had happened. But every now and again, when on the odd Patrol together, when she knew he was distracted with some personal issues she would notice the same odd tune exit his lips and then die away as he realised the company he was in.

She remembered raising her hand in Walsh's Lecture of 'Enforced Human Behaviour' and citing Xander's whistling as an example of when he was stressed, scared or unhappy. At this time in her coarse she hadn't thought Walsh as being 'Evil', a tough Lecturer certainly, but not evil. And in drawing attention to Xand's 'tell' she was hoping to earn some bownie-points by tabling an actual example for class discussion, a matter that earned her a cold shoulder and icy glare from Willow for the rest of the day (who knew exactly who this 'unnamed male' that the class were all giggling and laughing at). Without batting an eye, Dr Walsh asked her if this young man came from an abusive household. One that subjected him to one or more abuse: physical, emotional, mental or sexual. The first three, Buffy had to regretfully admit to the strong possibility that he did, but the meer thought that Xander might have also suffered sexual abused ontop of these choices frightened her to her core. Fortunately from the frantic gestures Willow was offering her to the side, she was left assured that this was not the case. Dr Walsh then addressed the class, stating that it was not uncommon that children of domestic violence or parental neglect to adopt independant coping strategies to take their minds away from various torments or tormentors. Some would write, others would draw, some whistle, the various distractions used were endless on this point. Anything could be utilised as long as it was viewed to being an unconcious escape, something that would start out harmlessly as a means of 'taking them away' and overtime having it become more and more ingrained to the point that when they experienced those same extreme emotions of fear, sadness or haplessness they would unconciously start whistling a tune to a favorite song or a song that held some forgotten happy meaning for them and allow them to emotionally escape from their misery.

At the conclusion of this Lecture a hundred images circulated her mind of a young Xander Harris sitting cross-legged in his family's living room, forcing himself to learn to whistle as a means of drowning out the din of arguing parents in the next room. She remembered how, when she walked down the concrete steps of the Lecture Hall after the lesson that she fought against every impulse not to break down into small tears and to keep walking forward to her next class. Her memory constantly focusing and re-focusing on her spoken frustrations to Giles years earlier. Complaining that she didn't want to take, Xander, Patrolling with her anymore because he wouldn't listen to her when she order him not to whistle. She even remembered standing out of view as she listen in on Giles play the 'Bad Guy' and warned him that his Patrol-day's with Buffy would be over if he didn't 'control' himself. After that day he began to always carry chewing gum around with him so that if he did notice himself start to whistle he would take out and chew a piece to force silence upon himself.

For the rest of that week, she avoided her Xander-shaped-friend like the plague because she could not bare looking him in the eye. But that was then, this was now and whatever was on his mind was obviously troubling; because she could not easily remember the last time she had clearly heard him whistle this same 'Country & Western' tune. Buffy offered herself a deep sigh and steeled herself for what was to follow. Because Xander, whether he liked it or not, was one of her bestest friends and she wouldn't have this sad truth any other way. So when he hurt, whether it was emotional or physical, then it inturn hurt her as well. He was someone she would willingly die for, as she knew in her heart, that he would easily choose to do so for her as well. Tearing her eyes away for the spectactuar view below, she balled up her courage and asked the question.

"So, penny for your thoughts?"

Stopping the sound issuing from his lips of 'The Gambler' by Kenny Rodgers, Xander ceased spinning the crudely carved stake and looked over to the College-woman. "They're not really worth that much, Buff-of-mine."

"Let me raid my Piggy Bank and be the judge, huh? So, Xand, what's up with you?"

"Nothing, - everything. Future, past, present."

The Slayer exhaled into the night air, slightly relieved that he had least admitted to her that something was troubling him, even if it was slightly obscure in the detailing. "Oh."

"Oh? That's all I rate? An 'Oh'? That was a pretty deep and cryptic answer and all I get is an 'Oh'?"

"Yeah - 'Oh'. As in this is going to be one of those 'Oh' thoughts. Y'know the ones. The kinda where it's best we had a big tub of Chocolate Ice-Cream infront of us." By this stage of discussion she had joined Xander on the boulder he was now leaning on. "So what's wrong, Xand?"

The male shrugged his left shoulder. "I dunno Buff. Maybe it's just me, but do you ever get the feeling your life isn't as good as you think it is?"

"No. I mean, yeah, sure. Of coarse I do. That's natural, isn't it? No, actually I recant that statement. I 'used' to think that. But now when I do all I have to do is think of you, Riley and Will and I know that it's just one of my many wrong and wacky thoughts. My life would be a thousand different types of 'suck' if it wasn't for you guys. When I was living in Hemley, sure, I had my own Buffy-posse, and superficially everything with them was great. But it wasn't real. Just how Cordy discovered with her Cordettes. Sometimes it's about the quality of the friendships, not the quantity. And I'm just grateful to have you guys in my life."

Xander nodded, but seemed to have completely ignored her words. He then stared up into the starry heavens and spoke anew. "You really should spend more time with Dawn you know."

Buffy blinked a couple of times to the odd statement. "Whoa, that came out of no-where."

"No. No, it was always 'somewhere'. It's been 'somewhere' for a while. But nobody has bothered talking about it. And I - I don't think I should keep spending as much time with her after work anymore. She needs you more then she needs me."

"Why? Your great with her, Xander. I've seen it. Mom's seen it. You ask her to eat her veggies and the next thing you know the plate is bare. You tell her it's late and she has to get to bed, guess what? She's under her covers five-seconds after you've finished that sentence. She does anything you ask her to do and she does it without question. No lip, no complaining, no bargaining or tantrums. Your Super-Xander, Baby-Sister-Sitter-Man."

The male grimmiced in the dark at the lame title. "Super-Xander? Nice to know I finally have a super-something."

"I'm serious, Xander. Don't get all moody cause I bad at doing one-liners. But I mean it, really. You're amazing with her, she actually listens to you and does what you say. With me I could remind her to brush her teeth before bed and she treats it like I've just ordered her to stomp a kitten to death. You got this way with her, don't ask me what it is. But you've got it and I don't. On the whole 'Ladder of Dawn' you're three rungs above me and only one-rung below Mom, and that's just barely. Why, what's wrong? Has that little tease said anything to you? Cause if she's been out of line I swear I'll have a word with her, straighten her out and then get her to apologize."

"No, don't do that. Look, she hasn't said or done anything. She's great, I mean that. She's - amazing. Like a perky and upbeat you. Cute as a button, funny, she's just being very - y'know."

"What's that supposed to mean? What does 'y'know' mean?"

"Buff, how can I put this? There comes a time in every girl's life when she starts noticing boy's - or in this particular case – Men, or in my and her case specifically - Man."

The Slayer's mouth formed a perfect small 'O' to the uncomfortable and embarrassed words coming out of her best friends mouth. Then trying to hold back her amusement she answered the claim. "Oh you have got to be kidding me! You!"

"Don't sound so surprised. I'm not that bad of a catch, aside from the whole 'still-living-with-my-Parents' thing. I think I'm pretty decent as first wannabe boyfriends go. I mean if your going to have a go at her over her 'taste' in men, then you better be prepared to also point and laugh it up big at Willow as well."

"No, not that. I mean your great, Xander, I mean that. Really! Your one of the best guys I know. But - but you? Of everyone she could have developed a crush on, why you?" A wide smile crept across her face in the darkness as mischief started to be born in her mind at the various tortures this information could wrought to her three-year junior sibling. "Oh Sister of mine I am so going to get some serious mileage out of this."

Softly the male in her presence spoke. It was a tone that held gentle understanding and compassion but was not lacking in any strength in his chosen words. "Don't, Buff. I think it's scaring her a bit, hey, truth be told it kinda scares me a bit too. She really likes me and she really needs you now; she needs her big sister more then anybody else. She can't talk to Joyce about it. And me? Well, I don't think she's guessed I've worked out her 'intentions' to me just yet, and if I let her know that I know, then it will just humiliate her. You're the only one she might actually listen too about this."

"Why? She's never listened to me before. Why now? Why me?" Buffy stared down at her leather boots mentally cursing that she was hearing about this stuff only now, and from Xander no less. This was the kinda thing she should have figured out on her own, she should have noticed the signs. She was the one living in the next room afterall.

"Why you? Are you serious? Try because of you and the whole Angel romance debarcle. Younger girl and significantly older, waaaayyyyy older Guy. I don't wanna see her get hurt like you did with all that drama. And I don't want this to ruin what she thinks about love. I don't want her to look at having warm-giddy-happy-feelings as something she should avoid ever wanting because of the risk of it leading to potential heart break."

Buffy looked up slightly surprised at the candour. "Love doesn't hurt Xander. Love is wonderful, she's a smart kid. Despite the stuff I say about her, she'll figure that much out. Besides I don't think I got hurt by falling in love with Angel. It was painful sometimes. Sure, I can admit that. But it was also on other times completely amazing and magical."

"Sure you'd say that, Buff. Now. But you spent more times being hurt in that relationship then you ever were being happy, atleast admit that. If not to me, then to yourself. You denied yourself the 'What-could-have-beens' and 'What-ifs' for the safety of empty love, Buff. And in the long run you hurt yourself a lot because of it. I just don't want Dawn pining herself over me like you did for Deadboy. I don't want, Dawn, unwilling to consider anybody else as a contender to making her happy and wasting the best years of her life away on a romance that doesn't have the legs to even run."

A sullen tone exited the Slayer's mouth as she answered. "Angel and me, we weren't empty. Our love for one another wasn't empty, Xander."

"Maybe, but it sure as Hell wasn't exactly full either."

Softly Buffy had to concede that point. "No. No, it wasn't. It was something. It was -*"

"Stupid?"

The word shocked her, especially coming from the man who had dated his arch rival in High School, Cordelia Chase. "Xander, if you're going to shoot down what I had, and will have with every boyfriend down, then maybe this is a discussion we should not engage in – Like Ever!"

Xander looked generally troubled and in his Xanderish-understanding way nodded and apologized. "I'm sorry, but I've done a lot of thinking of late on the subject of Relationships and Love. And I think that you denied yourself something great all because of him."

Buffy couldn't help it; her memory instantly drawing her back to Xander's awkward proposal for the Spring Fling nearly four years earlier. "Your referring to you, aren't you?"

Xander barked out a short and surprised laugh before he answered. "No, not me. I mean yes, maybe me alittle, but there was also Owen, and I'm sure there were plenty of other guys at SunnyHell High who would have loved to have gone out with you. Guys who you undoubtedly didn't give a chance or the time of day to because you were gaga over Fangface. I mean, seriously Buff, couldn't you have seen it? The emptiness of a love, his love, a love that he wasn't allowed to ever express to you for fear of losing his Soul again? How redundant and pointless it all was?

"Loving him nearly destroyed you Buffy. Physically with Angelus, and Emotionally as Angel. It nearly destroyed you. I was just an outsider looking in, and I could see what that relationship was doing to you. I can't even imagine how you saw it all at the time. That last year of High School, you - you all but sabotaged yourself, Buff. You missed out on the whole first-love experience in favour of the tragic-love one. I mean, how many guys asked you to the Prom? Be honest."

"A few. And they were all creeps, every last one of them. Remember, mind-walker girl. I knew what these guys all really thought about me, and what they wanted to do with me long before the Prom came around thanks to that whole 'Aspects-of-the-Demon' thing."

The male-Scoob looked up to the starry sky above. "Really? Doesn't paint me in a favourable light then, huh?"

Another smile found form on her face in the moonlight, it was softer then the one that had formed when she thought of the teasing potential towards her little sister. It was a sweet and sincere smile of a surprisingly happy memory of her towards this young man. "Actually Xand, from memory. You were the most honest and best one out of all of them regarding me."

"You're kidding?"

"Nope, all you did was think of me being naked. Just naked. The other's - well they pictured me doing stuff with them. Twisted and kinky stuff that I'm embarrassed to even mention to anyone else, let alone you. But when I peeked inside your head, it was just me. Not me and Willow together, or me and Cordy or Faith. With all of us doing stuff to eachother, or going the whole leather and domination route. Or worse. And believe me with some of the freaky things I saw in one guy's mind 'worse' doesn't even cover it. I mean I get the whole banana reference, and maybe the whipped cream and chocolate sauce. But what the Hell are you supposed to do with a pasta strainer? What concievible use does that have? But with you, Xander, all you did was imagine me naked. Nothing surreal or nasty. Just tastefully naked. God, I wasn't even naked-naked. I was under some silk sheets, with just a little bit of cleavage showing. Which was kinda nice of you, I thought. Don't get me wrong it was still very perverted to think of your best friend like that, but compared to alot of the other male thoughts I had inadvertantly blundered into that morning it was a damn sight more pleasant an experience. It was also kinda touching to know that it was just me you were fantasing about and NOT Cordelia or Faith. Only me wearing my birthday suit."

Xander looked down at the ground shyly. "Tastefully naked? Is that even a thing? I suppose under those circumstances it was probably a good idea then that I skedaddled from the Library when I did, huh? Before I started to get 'creative' and then have your opinion of me take a drastic change for all time."

Buffy offered a small and amused laugh. "Nah, I stand by what I told you after the whole Valentine-thing. There is hope for you yet Xander Harris. And you haven't done a thing since that day to make me change my mind on that. So even if that horny teenage male mind of yours threw in a Pasta Strainer or two, I'd still think you were one of the sweetest and nicest guys I know."

Xander, kicked a stray bit of rock with his shoe and peered deeply into the darkness once more, chosing not to acknowledge the Slayer's compliment. "Yeah, well, I just want to spare Dawn from any pain. And as you pointed out, there are not to many Galahad's out there. She's at an impressionable age. If this isn't handled right -" Xander let the sentence drift into nothing. "Look, I just do't want her to become another one of 'Cupid's Victims'. I want her to learn to use her mind and not her hormones. And I think your experiences with Angel might be the wake-up call she needs."

Buffy then watched Xander's stone expression form again, chosing to pressed on in her questions now that she had gotten the ball rolling, hoping to break through whatever thick wall he had erected around himself. Steeling herself she decided to pursue the line of conversation further. "Sooooo you mentioned before that you've been thinking a lot about relationships of late. Is there something happening with you and Anya that I should know. Wedding Bell's? Baby Booties? Any gossip at all?"

"No gossip. Believe me, I wish I did. But no gossip, because there's been no Anya."

"WHAT!" Buffy pushed herself off the boulder and scrutinized her best friend through the darkness that seperated them.

Xander released a deep sigh and bowed his head like he was surrendering to a failure. "No Anya."

"What happened?"

"She left me."

"Xander, there's got to be more to it then that. When did this happen? How long?"

"She walked out on me two and a bit weeks ago now. We had a disagreement. She didn't like what I said, I didn't like what she said. I wasn't prepared to budge and neither was she. So she packed up her stuff and left."

The Slayer knew from his posture that there was obviously more to everything then just a simple 'we-broke-up' answer and she wasn't about to give up that easy. "Xander? What happened? Is every thing alright? The truth. The whole truth."

The male looked at the Slayer and saw detirmination written all over her face. He produced a half-hearted smile, one that spoke of heartache. "The truth? The truth is that she accused me of being 'Unfaithful' to her."

Buffy looked down at her boot's once more, she didn't want to ask the follow-up question but she knew she had to even though every part of her heart, mind and soul refused to believe in the possibility. "Well, were you?"

The male was startled for a second and then a harsh expression started to cloud his features, so the Chosen One quickly explained herself. "I only ask because of the whole 'fluke' thing you had with Willow. I mean it's not like there isn't precident there. Maybe, Ahn, misread a bit of friendly banter between you and someone. You know how possessive and territorial she is about you, and the fact that she has that whole Patron Saint of 'Scorned Women' Demon history going for her certainly doesn't help keep her paranoia in check."

Xander slowly nodded, his face's momentary fury returning to it's original 'poker expression' of several moments earlier. "Yeah, I know. She bought up me and Willow as well. Then me and Faith, even though at the time I was very much a 'free-agent'. She just used Faith to illustrate how low in the gutter my morals were. Saying if I was given the opportunity to have quick, easy, no-strings attached sex that I'd probably jump at the chance if it was offered to me once more, just like any other male on the planet. Y'know, the whole a-leopard-doesn't-change-it's-spots-argument. She even called me a Man-Whore. Do you believe that? Me? Still, I suppose by her slanted definition I guess in a very round about sort of way, I suppose I was 'unfaithful'. I mean, I did willingly give my 'Heart' to someone other then her, didn't I?"

Buffy's hands raised up to cover her mouth. A guilty realisation now washing over her as she worked out what the cause of Anya walking out on Xander was. She whispered out to her friend's heartbreak. "Oh, Xander, I am so sorry."

"Not your fault, Buff. I think she was more upset that I didn't even bother to take a couple of minutes to think it over before I decided. From her perspective it was like,_ 'Xander I need you to give me yourr Heart.'_ And for me? It was : _'Sure Buffy, take and use as much of it as you want for however long as you want it.'_ She demanded that I not only apologise to her, but that I make restitution for the 'sin' I committed against her love for me. I had no problem's with the saying the _'I'm sorry'_ bit, but the other piece of the deal? No way in Hell was that ever going to happen, not in a billion years. So when I made that perfectly clear she said some pretty mean things. Y'know, about wishing my penis would fall off and stuff. Telling me that I would live to regret my decision. Then she packed her bags, left her key and walked out the door. I haven't seen her since. I went around to her Apartment a couple of days later to see if she cooled down so we could talk the whole thing over again like grown-ups but it had been cleared out. The Realtor told me she left SunnyD and didn't bother leaving any follow-up address. So now I don't even know if she went back to her Demon-Gig or not. If she did, then I think I'm walking around with a pretty big target on my back."

Buffy's hand slowly, yet instinctivly reached out and stroked Xander's upper arm. Offering him her support by tentatively rubbing his muscle and shoulder. "If she did, then she can't touch you. Wish-Based Demon's cannot grant their own wishes. They can only grant other people's. Atleast that's what Giles says. So what was it? What did she want you to do that was so bad?"

Now it was Xander's turn to push himself off the large boulder. "That's not important anymore, Buff. She's gone."

"It is important, Xander. You and her were in love."

"Obviously not enough."

"Xander."

"She - she demanded that I never see, speak, or have anything to do with you ever again. Then she called you - well, she called you names. Names which I didn't appreciate, and when I told her so she only saw my defence of you as further evidence of my 'infidelity'. By that stage I had enough. I mean, it wasn't like I cheated on her. I played a small part in a big spell, Willow and Giles roles were far more important, and I told her that! Then she insulted me. Said that I didn't have a clue what I was talking about. Called me an idiot and a moron. She kept going on about the Heart being the key to the Spell's success. She said the more I cared about the recipient - you, the more it would be reflected in your strength during the battle. The fact that she believed you could have beaten A.D.A.M. with just your picky finger told her how much I - anyway, I told her that she was just talking nonsence and that she was reading too much into all of it, just like she usually does. She called me a few other choice names after that, said she wasn't going to stay around just to have me walk out on her later on and that if anyone was going to do the 'Walking' it would be her and on her terms. But before she walked out my basement door for the last time she told me I would regret my choice to side with you over her. That being your friend will either destroy me or kill me."

Buffy was silent for several moments, she just watched her friend breathe in and out the night air. Before she could say something that would break the tension, Xander, continued. "I've been thinking about that for the past two-weeks. Measuring the odds of what she said and y'know what? The House wins nearly every time. The fact that I'm still walking and talking and breathing after all this time scares the Hell out of me, because it means that sooner or later that luck is going to run dry."

"How can you think that?"

"I'm the only one, Buffy. The only normal person out of everyone. Your the Slayer with everything that goes with it. Giles has his book-knowledge and languages, he can also do a decent potion and spell if needed. Willow and Tara can do that freaky wicca thing. Deadboy and Spike are Vampires. Oz, werewolf, but when he was not furry he was a super-genius on par with Willow. Riley, Super Soldier bulked up on high performance steriod's for the past two-years. Cordelia, if you believe what Deadboy told us on the phone last week, she's just been made the PTB new Seer. Everybody can bring something to the Party. But me? Where am I in all this? I'm nobody. The Coat Holder. The Back Up. The Distraction. The Bait. Everyone has gotten something since signing up with you, Buffy. Some have asked for it, others obviously didn't. But they still have an advantage over little old me in some supernatural and super freaky way that I don't and never will. First Year, I had a Hyena Spirit infect me, yuks all round. Not good in the long run, but short-term I remember the power and the confidence I had. Then I lost it. Granted, it was a good call. But what if that Hyena Spirit could have been tamed somehow? Could you imagine the possible advantages that would have had for us?"

"Xander, you don't remember because you had that amnesia thing happening, so I don't know how you remember feeling powerful and confident. But 'News Flash', something me and Willow were never going to tell you, but your Fido-self was a loose cannon and a very bad doggie. He- he 'attacked' me, Xander, and he tormented Willow, for no reason other then to hurt her feelings and make her cry. I was more scared of Hyena-You then I ever was of The Master or Angelus, atleast with those two there was usually a plan or a strategy. With Dog-boy, it was all impulsive and self serving. HE was not the superior you, Xander. YOU are the superior you."

"Alright, then what about second Year? Soldier Guy, now he rocked all over. When that spell was broken and I could feel him slipping away I mentally held onto reminents of that possession for dear life and for as long as I possibly could. Which is why I probably was able to recall as much of his memories and experiences as I did when everyone else's personas went the way of a bad dream. Giles knew what spell that Ethan guy used, why couldn't he have cast it just on me? The potential of an actual field soldier on Patrol's with you*"

"*Xander, it wouldn't have been you! It would have been GI Joe. You would have been lost to us if that happened. Don't you see that? The Spell, Ethan, pulled on Halloween was complex and it was literally one that was years in the making. And if Giles did repeat it and gave you what you want, it would be Soldier Guy walking around in your body, Xander. Not you. You'd be annexed to some dark recess of your subconcious. You would cease to exist! Dog-Boy, GI Joe, they aren't you, Xander."

"I just feel so useless, Buffy, compared to the rest of you. And I know that it's just a matter of time before me being 'useless' will cost us bigtime."

"That's not true. You KNOW that's not true!"

"It is true, Buffy."

"So, what are you saying, Xander? You want us to cut you lose? Find you a power of your very own? Hey, here an idea, next time we come across a werewolf I'll throw you at him so he can bite or scratch you of something? Maybe we can get Spike to 'turn you', afterall if you're a willing victim I'm pretty sure that chip of his won't fry him then. Then we'll get Willow to return your soul and you can live the rest of your Immortal Life never knowing happiness, just like Angel has to do."

"Your sarcasm is noted."

"Noted, but are you taking what I'm saying on board? Are you taking what I am saying seriously, Xander? Your not 'useless', not in my book, and I'll make anyone swallow their own teeth who says you are. You weren't useless when you went down into the Master's Lair to try and save me. You weren't useless when you went to rescue Giles as I faced off with Angelus. You sure as hell waren't useless when you came up with the plan to kill the Judge, or when you put the bomb together to destroy the Mayor. Or for that matter lead our Graduating Class to hold back and fight off the Mayor's followers. And you sure as Hell weren't useless when your Heart merged with me to defeat A.D.A.M."

The male nodded solomly. "Look, all I'm saying that the law of averages is not on my side and I've had a good long run. But I'm alive more due to luck and you guys then actual skill on my part. That's all I'm saying, Buffy"

"Xander, Anya, has messed with your head. She couldn't get you to break off your friendship with me, so she's doing it another way. She's making you scared, paranoid."

The male kicked another rock across the ground. "I realise that, Buffy. I figured that bit out ages ago. But that doesn't mean she wasn't also telling the truth. Because, say what you want about Anya: tactless, blunt, with no personal filter's at all or possessing any consideration of whether what she says will affect other people. But she was also blindingly direct and honest. Because the one thing Anya hated and couldn't stand was deception. Which is what 'cheaters' did: decieve and lie. So she always made a pathological effort to always speak her mind. And she really believed that in me being your friend that it will one day lead to my destruction or death. And I don't want to die, Buffy."

"Who does?"

"Then why am I always doing this? Why do I willingly do these Patrol's nearly every night? Good Night - Live. Bad Night - Die. How many good night's does someone with no power's or abilities have in them before some Vamp or Demon gets a lucky shot? How many days, weeks, months, years do I have before I end up dead? Do I have some sort of Death Wish? Will I keep doing this until I am either destroyed or dead just like she said? Is that my fate? To just die?"

"That's never going to happen, Xander. I won't let it happen."

"Buffy, you can't make that promise."

"Sure I can. You once bought me back to life, remember? The Master's Lair? So the way I figure it, I owe you."

"A debt you've repaid a dozen times over since."

"Not the way I see it. Yeah, sure, I've saved your life. But you've saved mine plenty in that same time too. What you did back then was major. Major stupid and major brave. You challenged prophecy, something I wasn't prepared to do, or anyone else for that matter. That took guts. So you have my word, Xander, I will not let you die until we are back to being even-stevens. And I don't care what I would have to do to make that happen, and you know how seriously I am about my promises."

Xander looked shamefully up into the night. "I know. And really hate coming off and sounding like some whiney-baby, but this isn't cowardice, Buffy. I know I'm not a coward. I have no problems taking risks and maybe even dying as a result of those risks. But I don't want my death to be a result of something stupid, or pointless. Okay, this is the part where I might come off sounding vane, but if I'm going to die then I want my death to have some significance. I'm not talking saving the World type significance, though to be honest, that would be pretty cool and memorible. I just want, at the end of the day, to give up my life for someone who I think matters. I want to die for someone I care about. I don't want my life to go to waste. I mean, I should have the right to pick and chose who I die for, right?"

Buffy looked at Xander, and it was like she was seeing him for the first time. The only one in their 'crowd' who ever talked about dying was always her. So to see how heavily this topic was wieghing on her best friend was something of a revelation. She never once thought that the other's ever considered their own mortality like she did her's. And she never once thought that Xander's greatest peeve would be to die a pointless death. Despite the tension that was being generated by the honest discussion, the Slayer, felt unusually close to her Xander-shaped-friend right at that point, and not just proximity speaking. She felt as though he was revealing something to her that he had never before voiced to anyone else. Willow, Anya, Giles, Cordy, Oz or even Riley. This was their 'moment', their secret and she felt the burden of their friendship with every defeated-toned word he uttered, something she could nolonger tolerate. "A coward wouldn't be here tonight, Xander. A coward would have taken Riley's invitation to walk away from the Bronze and go home for an early night. Letting me and him deal with this beasty mess. But instead your here. You're not a coward, and not for one second have I ever thought that in all the years I've known you." Buffy then playfully punched her companion's arm. Hoping that the physical exchange would be one that would life his spirits slightly. "Look, I can understand that from your 'normal' perspective you might be a little resentful that Will, me, Oz and Riley all have something you don't."

The male flinched at the acusation and his voice became very level and direct in his reply. "I never said I resented you for that. Don't put words into my mouth."

Buffy couldn't help but nod her head in embarrassment. It was true, Xander didn't say those words but she could have easily understood it if he was. She would have had to be blind not to notice how his eyes would widen in wonder whenever Willow or Tara would show off a new spell. Or when she and Riley were sparring out the back of the Magic Box how he would watch them both with amazement. Yeah, he may not have said the words, and he would probably go to his grave denying it, but sometimes jealousy was a difficult thing to disguise from people who knew you so well. But she could play this game his way if he wanted too. "Okay, that's fair, I stand corrected. But you shouldn't be jealous of us either."

"I never said I was jealous either."

The Slayer rolled her eyes, grateful that the night easily hid her amusement from the male. "Fine. But the grass isn't always greener, Xander. Personally, I'd give anything to be like you. To have a choice in all this and not be 'Chosen'. Everyday I wake up and I wonder if somewhere in the world some maniacal demon is plotting to bring about the End of Day's and whether or not it will happen on my watch. That's alot of pressure for a girl to accept before she's even had her first cup of coffee. You have no idea what I'd give up just to have a normal life like everyone else. Even if it was just for a month. Heck a week, totally Vamp and Demon free would be a godsend as far as I am concerned. Also, bare in mind, Oz's infliction is a Curse. And like me, if he could walk away and live a normal life free of cages and flea-treatment shampoo he would do it in a shot. And Riley? Don't let on I told you this, but he is so _'Captain America'_ that he can't be anything else, even when he is on 'down-time'. He tries to relax, to unwind and be _'one of the guys'_ and he pulls it off pretty well, but it's all and act. His body is always preped, his muscles are always primed and ready to be called into action at a moment's notice. What I'm trying to say, Xan, is that Riley doesn't relax. He can't. He doesn't know how too. He's a 24/7 Warrior. As for Willow and Tara? They both know that the more they give up to the 'Arts' and thier 'Gifts', the more they lose to it. It is a dangerous balancing act for them.

"I understand that it would be frustrating for you to see what we do and think we have it easy and smooth. I really do. I lost my powers for a few days during that stupid Slayer-Test of the Watcher's and it drove me batty at only having the normal strength of a girl my size. But as soon as the injection wore off and I was back to being, well, me. I realise just how hard the rest of you have it. I know that I try to be glib about the Slaying and stuff around you and everyone else, but that is only because if I wasn't so casual about the whole freakiness of my life you guys would actually see how terrified I always am. And I'm sure that's the case with the other's as well. We try, Xander, to make it all seem like fun and games and as normal as 'normal' for us can totally be. But the scary truth is we all got our own little 'darkness' hiding deep inside us all that we don't want those we care about to see.

"And not for one second and not in a billzillion-years would I ever want you to be what we are, got that Mr Harris? And I am not saying this because I'm being selfish, or because I don't think your good enough to _'sit at our table'. _I'm saying this because I LOVE that you're normal. That you're totally human with no powers of any sort. Your Normal, Xander, in the best way possible. You're why I chose to do this every night even though I don't want to. Everytime I put a stake in my backpocket, a vial of holy water in my front and check the mirror that I am still wearing my cross. I do it for you, and all the 'normals' like you.

"Your why, when my time eventually comes and I die. I'll die happy. Because every monster I killed, every vampire I slayed, every demon I destroyed. I know I did it all for you and for people like you. Your 'normality' is my - well, your MY Hope, Xander. Your everyone's 'Hope'. Every Scooby who has ever taken the name. From me straight through to, believe it all not, Angel. Your the person we do this for. Your future is our validation."

"Hope?"

"Yeah. Look, I'll probably never get married, or have kids. I'm a Slayer. It's not in the cards. We get called, we fight the good fight, then we die a bloody and a forgotten death. Angel, Willow, Tara, Oz, Giles, Cordy, Riley. There is something inside of us that will never permit us to have the white picket fence dream. But you? I can see you doing all those things, Xander. I WANT you to do all those things. I want to look down from my cloud up in heaven and see little Xander Harris's giving their Uncle Riley, Oz and Granddad Giles all types of wonderful Hell as they get spoilt rotten by their Aunty Willow and Tara. And if I have to stop a dozen World Ending Plot's, Slay a thousand Vampire Master's and kill a hundred Demon Lord's to make that beautiful image happen, then you know I'll do it."

Xander was quiet for a moment before he looked over to his friend. "Wow. It sounds as though you've been thinking of that scene for a while."

Buffy blushed and nodded shyly. "Yeah, for about a year. Ever since Graduation. We lost so many in our class that day, people who would never have a future like that one. But we survived. And I felt we owed it to their memory to have at least one person in our little group live the best future imaginable."

"And you chose me?"

"No one deserves it more, I think. Like I said, me, Will, Oz and Angel. We are what we are. But you will always be you, Xander. Like after we graduated, you could pack up your bags, load them into your car and do your American Odessey thing. I couldn't, but YOU could. You have the type of freedom we don't, Xander."

The male offered a scoffing laugh. "You actually think I'm 'free', Buff? I've never been free. From the moment I found out that what goes bump in the night, actually DOES go bump in the night, my choice was made. How could I willingly chose to be 'blind' again after I was finally given the chance to see?"

The Slayer shrugged her shoulders. "I know what you're saying. But I need to believe what I just said, Xander. I needed to believe you could give this up at any time and that it would be an easy choice for you. Believing in that little white-lie helps keeps me going. It keeps me sane. Just like that little fantasy of mine of you one day being happily married, with kids playing in a big backyard keeps me focused and moving forward with all this."

"It's really that important to you?"

"Isn't it to you? Don't you dream of a perfect-life?"

"Not lately. Ever since Anya left her final bit of poison in my ear, I've literally been thinking I've had no future. Even went as far as to do a Last Will and Testament, take out a hefty Insurence Policy, even got Giles to be my Power of Attorney. Y'know, the whole nine yards."

Buffy shock her head in disbelief, not even she had taken things THAT far. Though on retrospect, she probably should have. Here she was talking about the Doom-and-gloom of her life and she hadn't taken any steps to make sure that when that BIG DAY finally came and she didn't return home one night, that her Mom and Dawn would be looked after in the financial sense by a windfall of some faceless Insurence Company. But still this was her hang-up, not her best friend's. "Xander, you're only 19."

"I know. And we've both taken out Vamps alot younger then that before they got turned. Death doesn't descriminate against age. And hey, I can admit it, I'm not the most subtle or the most - Hell, I'm clumsy. We both know it, if there is anything in a room that could be bumped into, the chances are I'm the guy who'll bump into it first. That's why you stopped wanting to partner up with me on Patrol's in our Senior Year. I'm loud and I've got two-left feet."

Her memory from only minutes before finally came back to haunt her. "That's not why, Xander. You want to know the real reason I stopped Patrolling with you in our Senior Year? I had Angel to babysit, that's why. I knew the chances of him becoming Angelus again was not going to happen, but I was partly responsible for how the Gypsy Curse got broken. And I also vouched for him infront of everybody. So if by chance he went back to being evil, or if this was as you voiced in your lame-assed Intervention of me, somekind of trick by Angelus to make me believe he was Angel again inorder to lure me into a false sense of security. Well, I had a responsibility to make sure he was taken down alot more effectively this time around. Then there was the whole training Faith to be a team-player thing, as much good that did us. And Willow, with her new interest in magic, well she needed more and more practical field time.

"It wasn't personal, Xander. It was NEVER personal. Doing Patrol's with you was always a blast. Atleast I always thought so. Even if we didn't find anything to stake and we just spent three to four hours walking around cemetaries just chatting it was always a hundred times better then the alternative. You didn't make it seem like a chore, it was always fun and easy with you around. Comfortible. With Angel there was so much romantic tension between both of us since he returned from Hell. And Faith? She was always up for some thrill that always took me to the boarders of my comfort zone. As for Willow? Those night's were worse then Patrolling with the other two put together. I would have to spend close to an hour giving her little confidence speeches just to psyche her up to do one spell. Do you have any idea how draining that is? _"You can do it! I have confidence in you, Willow! You're getting better each time! You're amazing, Willow, you can do anything you put your mind too!'_ It was exhausting, Xander. I'm serious. I would have to id a 'Nest' then hide in the bushes with her getting her all positive and confident in herself, and only then when she was ready did we go charging in. And if there was only one vamp, I'd have to sit it out and let her try and take it down. It was sometimes painful to even watch, she'd recite the same spell five or six times before she would get it right. And the Vampire would be standing there with it's Game-Face on ready to tussle, but after fifteen seconds of Willow apologising to them and starting over her incantations anew thew would move on from wanting to throw-down to instead getting really, really confused. Some even started to look bored. One even gave himself a hernia, I think, from laughing so hard. A few even begged me to just stake them so they would not have to bare witness to her amateurish effort to kill them. I would finish Patrol's with all three feeling as though they had lasted for days, not hours."

A small smile crept over, Xander's, face as he imagined the scene's as they had been laid out by the Slayer. He had to admit that it sounded like Buffy had it alot worse off then him during that year, but he wasn't prepared to let her off the hook that easy. "It still would have been nice to have been told that at the time. It could have saved me from alot of pillow punching at night."

Buffy nodded guiltly. "Sorry. That was Giles idea, not mine. We did the same to Cordy as well if you remember. Granted she didn't like Patrol's as much as you did, but still. Giles wanted you and Cordelia to be as distant from this 'life' as possible so that you wouldn't be tainted by it. Willow and Oz, were already in whether they wanted too or not because of either their afliction of chosen facinations. Giles believed he was actually helping you in the long run and thought by discouraging you from Patrol's and making you do the one thing you hated: Research, you would burnout quickly. The fact that now Cordelia is a Seer and see's visions of the future kinda put the bigtime kibosh on that plan of Giles and made his chosen two, well, to just one. You."

"Nobody ever thought to ask me what I wanted?"

"Truth is I think we were all pretty afraid of what your answer would have been if we did. Giles, doesn't say it to you. He doesn't say it to me or Willow either. But he loves us like we're his own family. And I know he shower's more 'parental' attention on me and Will then he does with you. And that when he gets angry with you he goes off the scale, but with either of us it's barely a simmering-murmer. But believe you me, if me or Willow could get Giles to be that vocally upset with us over the smallest thing, then I think that would make both of our day. He's harder on you, Xander, because he doesn't want you to make the same mistakes twice. He looks upon you as his son, Xander. And like any 'Dad', he has no problem raising his voice and berating you, it's how he shows you he cares. Being a 'guy' he can't be all gentle and affectionate to you, like with us. He demonstrates his love by doing what he has to to keep you on the straight and narrow. And if he had a chose between keeping you safe and putting you at danger. He'll always favour your safty first."

"He want's me to be safe? Then why didn't he try and train me a little?"

"Training would have only encouraged you."

"Did it ever occur to any of you that even if I had your disapproval, I'd still willingly chose to do this? And that not training me put me at a disadvantage?"

"Okay, for starters no one 'Disapproved' of you. We just wanted you to be safe. To have a normal life, something we couldn't enjoy. We wanted you to find a nice 'normal' girl and have a nice 'normal' relationship and future."

Xander looked into the distant darkness and smiled. "Y'know, Dawn's, pretty nice and normal. And she's already halfway mine, so it wouldn't be a sweat. Plus, give her a few more years to ripen and she'll be a real knockout. What do you think?"

"I think that if I thought for one second you were actually serious with what you just said, the possibility of you ever procreating would be an impossibility."

"I thought you said I was one of the best guy's you know?"

"And I stand by that comment, but your still not good enough for my sister. Jeez, no guy is really is."

"So your 'vision' of my happy-future hasn't Dawn as a wife and mother of my children?"

"Absolutely not."

"So then who is my wife in this little Buffy Fantasy Land?"

Buffy look bashfully to the ground. "Actually, I never tried to imagine that side of things, but one thing I can truthfully tell you for certain, Xander, is this: Anya wasn't ever in that picture."

The smile left the male's face at this admission and Buffy felt angry at herself for turning a light-hearted moment into a depressing one again. "I know you could walk away anytime you want, Xander. You could walk away right now and I would probably secretly celebrate the whole thing with everyone. Afterall if Anya has given you cause to doubt yourself, maybe it's better that you did. I've been on the recieving end of these type of self-fulfilling prophecy deals, and you know what? They are always SELF-FULFILLING. You think your going to die, then you'll find ways to make it happen. I walked calmly down into the Master's Lair all because I was told I was destined too. But Fate didn't lead me down there, my feet did. That stupid Codex told me I was scheduled to die and I went about to make it happen. If you are going to have a self-fulling prophecy, Xander, have one that works in your favor. Find a nice normal girl, have a nice normal relationship followed by a nice and normal marriage. Then one day you could have some nice and normal children. Just not Dawn, okay?"

Xander looked over to the blonde through the darkness, the left side of his lip twisting upwards in a parody of a sneering smile. "You make it sound easy. Boring and predictible."

The Slayer shrugged her shoulders again in acceptance to that observation. "It is. That's why I'm incredibly envious of it. For you it would be easy. And don't knock boring or predictible."

Another brief silence closed over the two, but unlike the silence of before this one was far more comfortible. "Do you remember the Prom? How we were both hanging out until the second last day to find out if we would even be able to get ourselves a date?"

Buffy laughed at the sudden memory, she hadn't thought about the lead up to that night for over a year. That was the evening the Graduating Class had put together a special 'Thank You' for all she had done for them. For years she had believed all the fights and trouble she had gotten herself into around the school on their behalf had been ignored and that she had been labled a 'delinquient'. But that night she realised that one of the reasons many in her class didn't approach her for friendship was not because they were afraid of her, but because they all felt unworthy of it. They had all chipped in and gotten her a really tacky golden glitter umbrala with a 'Class Protector' sign fixed to it's hilt, and too her it was the most touching thing she had ever recieved in her entire life. Sure, it was embarrassing, and she had to fight hard to keep from crying when Jonothan gave it to her infront of everyone, but it was something completely special and one of a kind. Buffy wiped a stray tear from her eye as the happy memory of that night bounced about in her mind, before she chose to answer her friend's question. "You didn't have a date. I *had* a date, he just wasn't sure whether or not he was going to be there, that's all."

Xander leaned himself fully back along the contours of the boulder and looked up into the night sky. "Meaning you didn't have a actual date-date. You had a possible 'meeting', thats all."

Begrudgenly, Buffy, had to concede that point. Angel never actually made any promises to her that he would be there, infact as the night got closer and closer he seemed to surrender more and more excuses to the possibility of NOT being there. But he did not cancel out the possibility he would try and make it for one dance. And in excitible-Buffy-land the word 'try' was enough to bet the farm that he would arrive looking as drop-dead (literally) as he always did. "Okay, why did you bring up the Prom all of a sudden?"

"Talking about Anya just reminded me, that's all. The Prom was me and Ahn's first date. I caved to her out of desperation because no one else wanted to be seen on my arm after the rumors circulated, by a very spiteful Ms Cordelia Chase, how I had done the 'dirty' on her. No girl would look at me, even the ones who couldn't get dates themselves. I was a Social-Leper. Backed into the proverbial corner, I said 'yes', but now I wonder how my life would have changed if I just told her 'no'.

"Would she have still pursued me? Or would I be dating someone else right now? Or would Cordy and I have been able to get back together before Graduation? I mean, she and I were starting to really put what happened with Willow behind us by that time. If Anya wasn't always poking her head in and asking me what I was doing, feeling or thinking about after our one and only date, would Cor and I have been able to put the pieces of our relationship back together again? Going stag is usually the 'kiss-of-death', socially speaking, but would it have been preferible? It's not like I had any other options out there."

"Sure you did."

"Who?"

Buffy swung her head around to look at the male as she answered. "Me! You could have asked me."

"Huh? What? And I repeat - Huh?*"

The Slayer laughed at his startled expression. "Relax Don Juan. It would have been strictly platonic. Two very good friends going to a traditional High School dance together. Still totally and completely Stag, but at the same time totally not."

"Oh." The male nodded slowly at understanding her meaning. "Then I guess in the grand scheme of things it was probably a good idea afterall that I went with Anya."

"Okay. I think this is my turn to splutter out _'Huh?'_ Because I thought I was being pretty nice and generous with that offer, even though it's too late to do anything about it now. But at the time, I could assure you that with that spankin' dress of mine jaws were hitting the ground and you would have been the envy of every person in trousers."

"Yeah, yeah you did look - spankin', no doubts there. And jaws were dropping, mine included. But knowing that you were my 'Date' in name only and that I was only a substitute to the person you actually wanted to be there with, well, I think under those circumstances I would have chosen the ex-Vengence Demon. Because with her she atleast wanted to be there with me. Besides at the end of the night, when you had that last Dance with Deadboy, with you looking the way you did - it would have been more then I would have been able to stand if I had spent the entire evening with you and I had missed out in sharing that with you."

"Xander." The Slayer outreached her hand to grasp the one that held the stake, and spoke softly, repeating his name once more. "Xander, that would never have happened. The last Dance of the night is special and it's supposed to be shared with the one who *bought* you. Geez, I may not know what fork to use with shrimp, but I at least know that much about proper Dance ettiquete." Buffy then smiled softly and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "For day's leading up to the Prom, Angel, was giving me nothing but the run around. He could have easily put me out of my misery, but instead he just kept me hanging. And then you announced that you were going with, Anya, so my fall-back of going with you as a 'friend' suddenly also fell through, leaving me on my lonesome. But if we did end up going together, Xander, we would have danced together and not just the Last Dance, but for as much as my feet could handle. And if Angel did show up, it would have been tough luck for him. Seriously. I would have made it clear he had his chance and then I would have politely shown him the door. Any last dance I would have had at the end of the night, Xander, would have been with you."

The 19-year old male looked at the Slayer, studying her face, trying to decyper any chance of deception or false honesty. To his surprise, he saw none. Mentally he kicked himself at the opportunity he missed out on a year ago. "Kinda silly and pointless playing this _'What if'_ now, huh?"

"Not pointless. Because you honestly believed I would have ditched you like that, and I wouldn't have. So me saying this now gives you a chance to know what I judge important. I wouldn't intentionally hurt a friend's feelings just for a cheap five-minute thrill. Xander, you are without doubt one of the best guys I have ever known or met. And yes, I realise your in the 'glums' with what Anya did and said to you, but you'll bounce back. Because that's what you do. You bounce back. You're the Amazing Bouncing Xander."

"Not feeling too rubbery at the moment, Buff."

"That will change. It will. And because you are one of the best guys I have ever known I am going to do you a major-rare favour."

"A Major-Rare Favour? I'm already interested."

"There are hundred's of availible hotties on Campus each Freshman Year, Xander, just ripe for the plucking. I know this for certain because I was once one of these 'Freshman Singles', thank you Mr Parker. Just say the word and next year when Classes start up again, I promise you THAT me, Willow, Tara and Riley will become Delta-Force-Love, our assigned Mission? 'Operation : Get Xan Some Lovin'. We will decend upon the recently single, the lonely and the dateless with the solo objective of 'hooking you up' with as many unattainible eye-candies your wallet can handle and we won't be taking _'No, sorry he looks nice. But I'm really not interested._' for an answer."

"*ahem*"

The two dear friends turned to see Riley Finn standing at the edge of the clearing, his chin clenching prominently in the moonlight. "I found the Nest and the perimeter seems secure; they must all still be inside the Hold. Let's move out. Unless of coarse you would rather continue with your private discussion?"

Buffy looked at Xander, who was offering the other male a knowing smile. Feeling very embarrassed she stuttered out the question. "How long have you been standing there?"

In union both males answered her question. "Five-minutes."

Buffy looked at Xander in surprise, startled how he had been able to detect Riley's stealthy arrival before her own enhanced Slayer senses did. There was no way, Xander's hearing was sharper then her's, and Riley was a trained Special Forces Operative. He could sneak up on anyone before they even knew they were there. Only one question raised itself in her throat as she directed towards the companion she had been standing besides for the last 7-minutes. "How?"

The male shrugged as he started to walk over to Riley, but realised that the question would not go away by just denying the existance of it. Atleast not with Buffy being the poser. "What can I say, Buff? I'm an observant kind of guy. He showed up just as I was telling you about Dawn's crush on me. He stayed standing back, probably because he didn't want to intrude on the favour I was asking you. But he's been standing there, listening to us, for the past several minutes."

Buffy's cheeks began to glow red as she imagined the affirming words she had shared with her friend. If she knew that Riley was within earshot she would not have been so 'supportive', she certainly wouldn't have told Xander about him not being able to 'relax'. That was personal-pillow-talk stuff. Something he asked her not to share with anyone. As she approached her boyfriend she noticed how sternly his gaze fell on her was. Oh yeah, no doubt about it. Sharing that little nugget with Xander was going to cost her big time. Riley was in a sour mood and she could see alot of kissing, cuddles and promises to do things with him under the sheet's that normally she would put up a bit of a battle over inorder to defuse this personal fopar.

Both Scoob's followed Riley silently and stealthily towards their objective. When they reached the narrow opening of the Cave, Riley gave Xander a Walkie-Talkie and an accompanying ear piece to Buffy as he placed his own into his left ear. "Sorry about the 'Brick', Xander. But as I'm the only Operative here, I could only sign out a limited amout from the Armament Depot at the Base. Fortunately the Walkie-Talkie, Giles, had is compatible-tech with Buff and my Unit's. I've already set the frequency, but there seems to be something wrong with the reciever. Outgoing messaging, however is fine. Which means it makes for perfect sentry duty. Do you understand what all that means, Xander?"

Xander took the larger Unit from the Lt's hand, it's long rubber antena wobbling slightly. The male then juggled the device lightly up and down in his hand, judging it's heft and weight. The Walkie-Talkie looked like a retro-device that could have been used in the Korean War. The male sighed, just once he wished that Riley would trust him with the slick and modern day stuff, like he did with Buffy and Willow. After his examination he looked up and met the eyes of the other male, aware that Riley was still expecting him to answer the obvious question. "Yeah, you hear me – I don't hear you. Personally, I think me having this instead of one of your do-dads is kinda dumb. I mean, shouldn't you have the 'Walkie'? That way if you get in trouble I can come running in as back-up."

The Soldier checked the charge of his Electro-Gun and addressed the brunette male. "No, by the looks of things the passage way is way too narrow to support three of us. It's either two or one. And no offence Xander, but Buff and I are better qualified for this. You just hang back in case I called it wrong and the Hostiles aren't all inside. I don't want me and Buffy being sandwiched by surprise. If that happens, if you see any Sub-T activity, notify us and then run. Don't hold 'em off or be a Hero. Spot em and then sprint; leave the cleaning up to us. Got it?"

Reluctantly and unhappily Xander nodded to the request offering a very loose salute to the directions offered to him. "Crystal clear, _Captain America_, Sir!"

The Captain America inclusion caused Riley's eyes to narrow, and even though Buffy knew it was an off-the-cuff and random remark, and one not at all related to the personal info she shared with him just six minutes earlier, the Slayer felt the need to put Xander in his place before this whole issue became a 'thing'. "Don't be like that Xand, Riley's right. Let us know and then fall back to a safe position."

"Buff-*"

Riley interjected, satisfied that his girlfriend had offered him her support, so he decided to return the favor. "Xander! This is not up for debate and don't take it personal. But if me and Buffy can't handle it, what do you think your chances would be. You're a decent fighter, but leave this to Professionals. Spot threat, then break land speed records. Are we clear?"

"Like I said Riley, Crystal Clear." The part-time Construction Worker then turned on his device and clipped it to the top of his jeans. "And by the way, there not a chance in Hell I could take anything you just said personally. I would have to give a damn about what you thought about me to take it personally."

"Xander!"

"Where does he get off assigning me 'GateKeeper Duty', Buffy? I've done my time; I'm just as _Professional_ as he is. Probably more so cause I've survived the Mouth without the need of Sci-Tech Gadget's to do it."

Buffy had to agree, and she recognized that he needed the affirmation of his skills after his earlier admission that he was the only 'normal' one in their group. "Riley – Apologize!"

"What for? I'm only saying that we're better equipped to deal with anything then he is, and it's true. You know that's true. Look Xander, I *do* respect you as a combatant. But I don't know what Sub-T's we're facing in there, the Brass weren't clear over that small fact to me. If things go South we'll need someone to head off and get help. We'll need Back-up. That's your job for the night. To be our Back-up in-case I screwed up. If you want to go in with Buffy instead of me – fine, now's the time to step up. I'll happily cool my heels out here while you two raise Hell in there. But we both know I'm more experienced at handling the 'Bolt-Gun' then you are. Or are you forgetting that electro-shock you received when you were trying to figure it out a couple of months back? So what's it to be?"

Buffy stood besides Riley then looked at Xander through the darkness. "He does have a point, Xander. It's best if it's just us who go in and you to stay out here."

Xander turned his back and surveyed the land he would be watching and spoke darkedly. He had a bad feeling about this, he couldn't shake the impression that they were all being watched. But he wasn't going to give voice to these thought's, not after what he had just told, Buffy. She'd just think he was being paronoid and that Anya's parting words had affected him more then he had confessed. "Fine, got it. It's a totally done deal. See problem coming, let you know about it on the antique. Y'know Riley, if you had phrased it like that a minute ago, I wouldn't have gotten all out of sorts."

"I didn't think I'd have to explain myself or my reasoning to you, Xander. I thought you were *smarter* then that, guess I might have given you a bit too much credit."

Buffy could feel the heat coming off the tone used by her boyfriend and quickly tried to distract the potential pissing match about to take place again by guiding Riley into the mouth of the narrow cave. As she got herself to the entrance she turned her head and looked at the back of the standing proud figure. "Xander?"

"Go. I'll be fine. You two just watch yourselves in there."

With this understanding the Boyfriend and Girlfriend moved further into the cave entrance together, leaving the third of their party to guard their retreat. Not noticing three pairs of yellow eyes watching from the concealment of the tree-tops as they did so.

_**DOADOADOADOA**_

The two fighters of the undead navigated along the slender passage way. The male speaking casually as he stalked forward through the blackness, wishing he had bought some Night-Vision Goggles. "The Intel said that this should run for another 80 or so yards, and then we'll come out into a large Cavern. Man, gotta love Sunnydale and all the Cave's you got here." The professional soldier looked pointlessly over his shoulder awaiting a response. But the Slayer, who he knew was no more then two paces behind him remained silent, directing herself by touch along the walls in the pitch darkness. He knew that she was just waiting to 'blow-off' on him, you could not be Buffy Summer's boyfriend without learning the various 'signs', the strange truth was he was also wanting to erupt on her as well. But it would be a cold day in Hell before he'd initiate the topic, no way would he be advertised as the 'badguy' in all this. So instead he would just ramble on until she could take no more. "Yes sirree, lotta Caves in Sunnydale. Lotta Graveyards, lotta abandoned Warehouses, lotta*"

The singular dialogue then became too much for the female. "*Why did you treat Xander like that? He didn't deserve being talked down too!"

Riley Finn responded with a clipped tone, right out of the gate she had come to Xander's defense. Not a good start as far as he was concerned. "Excuse me, but didn't you tell him that you agreed with what I said?"

"So? Just because I agreed with you, it doesn't mean I thought you were in the right."

Without stopping in the slow and inching progression along the passage, the soldier released a small sarcastic laugh. "Okay, that makes absolutely no sense."

"If you haven't noticed, he's going through stuff at the moment and what you said, HOW you said it, didn't help matters."

"Well, gee, I'm sorry that I'm not paying as much attention to Xander's emotional well-being as you obviously are."

There was no disguising the familiar pitch of the 'Green-Eyed One' in her boyfriend's voice and she let him know her annoyance at picking this moment to raising a very old subject. "Oh God, not this again!"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm getting that déjà vu feeling all over." The Slayer combed back her hair from her forehead in annoyance. "You're jealous."

"Of Xander? Why the Hell should I be jealous of Xander?"

"I don't know, you tell me. Because I've had this conversation twenty to thirty times before and it never ends up well for the Boyfriend."

"By boyfriend, I take it you are referring to Angel?"

"Yeah, that's right - Angel. He couldn't work out me and Xand's friendship either. But trust me; it is just that – a friendship. Nothing more."

"Oh yeah, from Xander I got that loud and clear. But what about you?"

"What do you mean : _'But what about you?_'"

Riley stalled in his progression along the winding narrow to answer the blonde. "Xander is a stand-up guy. All you have to do is sit down with him for five-minutes and chat to the guy to know that. But the kind of things you were saying to him, Buffy, well, they have me in doubts towards what kind of person YOU are."

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?"

"You know exactly what I mean, Buffy."

"We were talking about Dawn, Riley! DAWN! She's got a crush on him and he wants me to talk to her about it."

"Really, because the way I heard and saw it, it seemed to me as if you were the one with the crush."

Buffy stared at the soldier's back in disbelief. "Are you brain damaged?"

The steady tone of the soldier cracked for a moment as he answered. "Asking him to the Prom, Buffy. That's a pretty big deal."

"As a friend! As a friend! Sheesh! He's Xander, Riley. My best friend, my first real friend in Sunnydale. Accept it; cause he's part of the whole Buffy-package. If you can't accept that, then maybe we should just stop, because if you can't accept Xander, then what about Willow, or Giles, or Mom, or Dawn?"

In the darkness of the tunnel, the Slayer, saw her boyfriend shake his head in the negative. "It's not Xander I have a problem with, Buffy. Like I said, I trust him. I trust him with my life and I trust him with yours. What I'm worried about, Buffy, is your feelings for HIM!"

"ME? I HAVE NO FEELINGS FOR XANDER, RILEY!"

"Really? Then you must be one of the cruelest people on the planet if that's the case. Because your setting the poor guy up for heartbreak."

Buffy was suddenly taken aback by the accusation. It was almost as bad as if Riley had come out and accused her of 'sleeping around'. That he would for a single second believe she would intentionally hurt her friend or damage their relationship was beyond the scope of all understanding for her. "What do you mean by that?"

"When a guy get's dumped, he doesn't want to hear from his friends, especially his female friends, the _'plenty-of-fish-in-the-sea'_ speech. Or to be told how amazing, great or how wonderful they are. They want to be told what every dumpee want's to be told, that the dumper was a Selfish-Bitch or Bastard. That they didn't deserve them and could do a thousand times better. That the Dumper will die alone and loveless. Ruling and regretting the day they impulsively walked out of their lives. But did you do that, Buff? No. Infact what you did was a hundred times worse. You instead flattered him with praise. Giving him the belief that if he plays his cards right he might actually have a chance with you oneday. Guy's don't want to be told how amazing they are after they've been kicked to the curb. And if people do that then they instinctively ask themselves the question: _if I was all those great things, why then did they walk out on me? _And if by chance they DO believe what is said, and if that person saying it is an attractive female, you have no idea what kinda hopes and thoughts that kinda thing inspires._"_

"That's stupid Man-reasoning, Riley. Xander doesn't think like that."

"He's a man, Buffy. I'm a Man. I think I have a better idea of how the male mind works then you do. When girls get dumped they make a bee-line to the nearest quart of Ice Cream, put on sad depressing music or watch a Leonardo DiCaprio Movie. When guys get dumped we head to the nearest bar, play country and western and WISH we were beating the crap out of Leonardo DiCaprio."

"That is such a cliched thing to say."

"Surprise, Buffy. Things become a cliche for a reason."

"Yeah, well, Xander's not like the average guy."

"Sure he is. You think that just because he's been domesticated by his longstanding friendships with you, Willow, Tara and that Cordelia girl. That deep down he doesn't like his steak medium-rare? Or if he had to chose between Football and sycrinised Swimming, that swimming would win out? It won't, Buffy."

"Just because you're a caveman, doesn't mean that Xander is one too. He has no problems expressing himself."

"Talking and expressing emotions are two seperate things."

"Yeah? Well, Xand, has no problem's doing either."

"Really? Then tell me what emotions he expressed to you during your little flirting session?"

If Riley's back wasn't staring her in the face and if it wasn't pitch black in the tunnel, Buffy was certain the icy look she was now giving her boyfriend with that 'flirting-session' comment would be one that would have him avoiding asking for sex for the next month. She started to replay the conversation back in her mind, but to her surprise, Riley was right. The only one expressing any emotion was her. Sure, Xander, spoke about his concerns. But as to actual feelings the only one doing the sharing was herself.

The Soldier took the Slayer's sudden silence as a 'win' and decided to press the advantage. "If I was in his place and I just had you fawning all over me like you were with him, I would not be saying to myself _'Buffy's, a really great friend'_. No. My thought's would be: _'Wow, I think she might be into me. Maybe Anya breaking up with me wasn't so bad after all'_. That's what I would be thinking, Buffy. Christ, Buff, you told him that you even thought that him thinking of you naked was '_sweet_'. Gee, no way in Hell could he misinterpret that for some subtle 'green light' from you, huh?"

The Slayer again fell silent for a few seconds as she once more reappraised every supportive comment and gesture she had shared with her best friend over the previous ten-minutes. But this silence did not stop Riley from continuing to make his point. "You say you have absolutely no feelings for him? Well, according to Willow, once upon a time he once carried a pretty big torch for you. So right here and right now, are you saying you weren't trying to fan those old ambers back to life? That your not the slightest bit tempted?"

Buffy knew exactly what Riley was now doing. He was trying to make her go 'on the record'. The truth was that 'yes' she did have feelings for Xander. Not couple-ly feelings like she did with Angel and Riley, but she couldn't deny that there had been moments between them over the years when a gaze between the two of them lingered far longer then it should have. And she couldn't deny that when Xander started dating Cordelia or Anya, she didn't feel a small sense of loss with their shared happiness. Or when she discovered Xander lost his virginity to Faith she wasn't both shocked or felt betrayed by the discovery. The reality was, and she had to admit this even if only to herself, that like the Prom, Xander was always her 'fallback guy'. The person she always believed would stay in her life and who if one day when he was single and she was single, and the stars were in perfect allignment, maybe, just maybe, she might take a chance with him. But there was no way she would tell this to her CURRENT bf, so instead she'd have to lie.

"No! Well, once, but that was a stupid Love Spell. Listen, Riley, there is absolutely no way anything with me or him would ever happen unless I was magically manipulated to doing so. Are we clear? He's like a big overprotective brother, Riley. Any sexual thoughts involving Xander would be way too incestuous and wrong to contemplate about, let alone consider. So relax, because on the Buffy-Lust Scale, Xander, rates a dozen notches below a Zero. Now why don't you put that little threatened male pride of yours back in your pants and keep it there, okay!"

At the conclusion of this sentence there was a sharp open channel sound from the earpieces the two wore. "_Keeerrrssshhhh – Um Guy's. FYI – Cave's sometimes echo. And though I do love to be talked about, having my love life, or lack thereof, advertised to any potential nasties infront you it would not be a good idea if you wish to take them unawares. So why don't you both amp it down! Xander, out – Keeerrssshhhh."_

Buffy's face went beetroot red in the darkness, as she could only imagine how Xander was now interpreting the private conversation he had just overheard. Despite the blackness offered in the cramped passageway the Slayer could easily see the pearl white teeth of her Boyfriend grinning at the communicated intrusion. Xander may have not have said anything, but the fact that he didn't refer to what he had heard echoing out of the cave entrance and by the snippiness of his voice, she could tell she hurt his feelings, a lot. Taking the advice and lowering her voice to a whisper Buffy continued. "Great, now above slaying whatever it is we got in here I have to now make amends to Xander."

Joining the Slayer in her whispering, the Soldier replied. "Why? It's not your fault he over heard us. Why apologise for your opinion?"

"Because he's my best friend and I have probably offended him."

"For being honest? To be frank, Buff, if I was Xander, I'd be more offended if you hadn't been."

With a strained voice and pushing past Riley to take 'Point' she returned an answer. "I was angry at you; I didn't know he could hear us. Geez, I called him a Zero."

"Actually you referred to him as being a couple of notches below a Zero."

"Well, he's not. Any girl would be damn lucky to have him in her life."

"You included?"

"So? We back to this jealousy thing now? Cause if we're heading down that path again, Riley, then yeah, right at this moment – Yes, I would think of myself damn lucky to be Xander Harris's Girlfriend. At least he wouldn't be questioning my feelings or devotion to him like some other's who are within spitting distance."

Riley's whispered voice carried a sense of regret to the female ears, knowing just how much he had pushed the subject and how close his girlfriend was to probably sincerly ending things with him. "Buffy, look, I'm sorry. And if it means that much to you, then I'll apologize to Xander when this mission is over. But my beef was not with him, it was just hard to take sometimes. Seeing and hearing my Girl tell another guy, a guy who I think of as a friend I might add, that she wanted to go out with him on what is said to be one of the most important nights of a young woman's life. And that she thinks him fantasing about her being naked was 'nice and sweet'. I trust Xander, and I trust you. But I don't think you know what it's like seeing the two of you interact with eachother. Angel probably knows what I'm saying because he's probably seen it to which is why this is such a tired conversation for you."

Still feeling her way forward and not stopping Buffy posed the question she knew that Riley would be waiting for her to ask. "What do you mean by that?"

"The two of you, Xander and you, you are just so comfortable around eachother, and I always feel like the odd one out."

Buffy stalled in her progression, her arms limply falling to her side. Her voice was now the softest it had been for the past three minutes. "It's called a 'History', Riley. Xander and I have been tight and close friends for years. You can't go through the stuff we have without knowing the other really well. The same goes for Willow*"

The soldier placed both of her hands on the petite blonde's shoulder's infront of him in comfort. "No, Buffy. No, it isn't. It's different. Me and Forrest were stationed together for years; we'd both saved the other's life a dozen times over. But our friendship is not the same as yours and Xander's. What you two share is deeper then just a few life-saving-experiences. You want an example of what I mean? What about Halloween, when you told me about that whole Fear-Demon thing you guys faced. You didn't see the similarities to both of your fears?"

"What? There was nothing simular between us, I was afraid of being alone and he was afraid of being ignored. What's the similarity? Nothing."

"Wrong, Buffy, it's isolation. Both of your fears stem from the same one. Of being separated from people and others. Remember what Walsh would say? '_A person can always recreate themselves, but they can't change what they are afraid of the most_.' "

"Yeah, well, Maggie Walsh was certifiable. So I'd take any insight she has over the human condition with a grain of salt."

"Agreed. But it doesn't change the fact that the two of you have a lot in common. And when I see that and compare what you and I have going for us, well lets just say we come off looking deficient."

"Riley, are you trying to tell me you think we should break-up?"

"No. God, no! I'm just trying to explain what I see staring me in the face every day when the two of you talk to one another."

The passageway exit was now barely visible for the Slayer. Removing two flares from her jacket pocket she turned towards the sound of Riley's voice behind her. "Riley, I love you and I love Xander as well. Throw Giles into the mix, and you three are the most important men in my life at the moment. Please understand this; because it's not gonna change any time soon. If you have issues, then we'll work it through together. But you have to trust and believe in me. I'm a one-guy-girl. Now, let's get this Mission done so we can both put this night behind us and finally share in some 'Witchery-time', huh?"

"Witchery-time?"

The Slayer leaned up as far as her toes could take her and kissed her bf's cheek, she was still a little mad at him to kiss him on the lips just yet. But she felt their 'discussion' may have been good for them, they had never argued about Xander, before. And unlike, Angel, who was the King of brooding, Riley would get things off his chest and once that was done he wouldn't raise the issue again. Just like he did when he discovered she used to date a Vampire or when he found out that Oz was a werewolf. Yeah, despite the major bridge mending she would have to do with Xander, tonight's argument might actually have been of the good. With a smile now plastered across her lips, she answered her boyfriend's question as crypticlly and as playfully as she could. "You'll see." The Slayer then ignited the Flares and threw them both into the Cavern, separating them by a distance of five yards. Once they fell inplace both the Soldier and the Chosen One charged into the now dimly lit unknown. But when they both stepped onto the surface of the vast underground space, the floor gave out on them both as they were hurdled 10-meters into the air by very sturdy netting.

It took a few seconds to get their bearings, but when they did it was embarrassment city. "Booby-trapped!"

Buffy turned as best she could to face her male accomplice, this action only made the net they were both caught in spin and twist with the action. "And we're the Boobies." Straining her Slayer-vision, Buffy examined the lit-Cavern as best she could below for any Hostiles. "Umm, Riley, I think you better fire your Intelligence Officer, cause nothing has been living in here for years."

"Impossible."

"Hey, look around. The only disturbed dust and dirt are the dust and dirt we disturbed."

"No, I mean that's impossible because this Netting is brand new."

As both pondered this and a method of escape from their embarrassing situation, and unseen by the pair, a little red light in a far off corner turned green to indicate that the trap had been successfully sprung.

_**DOADOADOADOA**_

In the Tree tops outside 'Hostile-7' held a little metallic box. It was not an impressive box. But it was one he was staring at intently. Suddenly, the red light turned green, and a sickening smile grew on his face.

Number 7 turned to 3 and 12 and repeated the standing Order given to them all. Just to make sure that there were no misunderstandings. "Remember, the Human-Male must receive mortal wounds but ones not momentarily life threatening. Just do enough damage to keep him alive for several hours. We do this and these damn Chips come out."

Number 12 licked its lips in anticipation of tasting fresh blood but felt foolish if he did not voice his suspicions to the others. "Do we believe this Military-Man?"

Hostile-3 then took her turn in speaking. "Do we have a choice? The Chip's are now deactivated; he has shown us good faith so far. Even if he was to reactivate it after, at least we will have a fresh kill before we return to our docile existence."

Number 7 nodded to 3's words. "Martroth is correct. We have nothing to lose except to feel the soft flesh of human under our claws and teeth one last time." At the conclusion of this sentence the Viderbeesh jumped off the tree limb that was supporting its weight and began to approach the Human-Target named Xander Harris.

Before it had taken three paces forward from his landing he was spotted by his quarry. It was at this time additional sounds of his 'Chipped Brother and Sister' were heard landing behind him.

The human than began running away whilst at the same time removing something from his hip. Brentar was expecting the pursuit, for only a fool would face their number alone and at once. He was expecting it, and secretly he was hoping for it as well. It had been far too long since he had played 'Cat and Mouse.'

_**DOADOADOADOA**_

Buffy was still struggling to remove the Hunting Knife from Riley's boot holster. But every effort she made just made the net spin more. She didn't have much time left to them as the Flares below her were starting to die out and the Cavern was again being welcomed into darkness. But just as she was about to yell out in the hopes of their Guard outside could hear and come to their embarrassing rescue, an aggressive sound entered her left ear. In her earpiece she heard the sound of a communications channel being opened by Xander to them both. His voice was ragged and sounded as if he was running.

"_Kerrrssshhh – Guy's we got trouble. Big, Mean, Ugly and really, really Fast Trouble outside. Two, maybe three of 'em from what I can see. I'm a running, and their a chasing. They're - I think they're playing with me. Get out of there if you can. And I mean NOW! I'll - I'll draw them away from the entrance and the track back down to Town as best I can, not like I have much of a choice at this stage. I'll See if I can take at least one or two of 'em out by surprise. If you don't hear back from me in a minute then assume the worst cause these Uglies look like they mean buisness. Then get running yourselves back to SunnyHell. Don't stop for me, it'll probably be too late by then, just go_!

Over the earpiece there was another sound coming through, a foreign and inhuman voice was heard as the sounds of Xander stopping his running was also heard clearly.

[_Come now, Human. Giving up so soon? Where is the sport when the Fox surrenders to the Hounds?_]

Two other's now entered the conversation. {_He looks tired. Maybe he should take a nap. Maybe we can help him sleep, good and long. A forever type sleep._} The alien third just laughed out loud to the jibes.

With a deep intake of air, an icy calm voice that the condemned could only muster, Xander, once more spoken into the Walkie-Talkie. "_Guy's, why don't you forget about that minute. Xander Harris – Out. Kerrrrssshhhh"_

Riley and Buffy lay tangled together transfixed, captured in the net for a full two seconds before they both processed what they had just heard. But once they broke out of their collective stupor there was nothing on this side of heaven that would have prevented their emergence from the trap that they had inadvertantly set. Buffy began screaming frantically, making insane orders towards Riley to hurry up and free his knife. Even though they both knew in their minds that logically by the time they had escaped and made it outside it would undoubtedly be too late for their friend. But it still didn't stop either of them from trying to do so.

Three minutes after the Zeppo's sign-off the pair exited the Cave. Both supporting numerous abrasions by running blindly through the narrow passage way and bumping many time into the rough rocky tunnel. Buffy spun around frantically, trying to get a bearing on the direction Xander had run. Her eyes completely misted over with frantic tears. Riley knelt down and noticed the impressions of shoeprints in the dirt outside the maw, running away from the direction of Township below. Xander had obviously been true to his word and was trying to lead his pursuers away from the most direct trek down to Sunnydale. Just in the event that they escaped what was inside so that they could safely run down to Giles, Willow and safety.

Without looking up, the soldier ordered the Slayer. "He ran this way!"

The two were running full speed in the direction of the shoeprints for 20-seconds before they came to the first Demon; its throat had Xander's wooden Stake sticking out of it. Roughly ten-yards further there was another creature that looked as if it had its skull cracked by the bloody and broken nostalgic Walkie-Talkie that lay beside it. With each Demon body discovered Buffy's heart fluttered. For it meant that this was a Demon Xander had bested, which meant that Xander still had the strength in him for the other one. As the couple turned into another clearing Buffy saw the mass of a third Demon. It was alive, barely. It was struggling to drag itself on the ground. As Buffy approached the unknown Creature she took note of deep knife wound across it's chest that led down it's pelvis to what was an upper thigh. What was sticking out of its offended leg was Xander's Swiss-Army Pocket Knife. From an analyitical perspective it was easy for her to judge what must have happened. Xander had been able to plunged the blade deep into the chest of the monster, but he must have either lost his footing or collapsed. But at no time did he release his grip on his last remaining weapon until he could hold it no more.

She coolly stood over the Demon and wiped her tears free from her eyes. Then with an icy voice she spoke down at the crawling figure. "Going somewhere?" She did not receive a reply, only a throaty gargle as frothy bluish blood exited it's mouth. Truth was that even if it did say something she would have chosen to ignore it. She then removed Xander's knife from its upper leg. And then, in a smooth versatile action she slid the blade deep across its throat. "Well, not anymore I guess."

The beast was already as good as dead from what she could see of it's injury, she was just hastening the journey. It was only until the creature stopped twitching that she regretted sending it on it's way to the afterlife so quickly. She wiped the blade clean on her now torn shirt and folded it up. It was the knife, they had all presented Xander with when he left to take his American Journey. A Graduation present that he told everyone he would not lose. Gold initials 'XH' lying on the hilt under the Swiss Emblem. She buried it deep in her pocket, not willing to lose it. Her thoughts focusing on one thing: When she find's Xander, he'd be wanting it back.

It was only then that she realised that she was alone. Riley who had been running right beside her was now nowhere to be seen. A fresh fear rose up in her as she now considered the possibility of maybe there being more then three-demon's in pursuit of Xander. With no regard to the shrill in her voice she shouted out for her errant boyfriend and best friend. "RILEY? RILEY? WHERE ARE YOU? XANDER? XAND? DO YOU HEAR ME?"

She then went stone silent to await for a reply. Suddenly she heard slight and soft murmering coming from some bushes several yards to her left. Two seconds later, Riley Finn, emerged. His complection being that of a ghost.

Buffy ran over to embrace him, but as she got within arms length she smelled a strong coppery scent and noticed that his black fatigue's seemed to shine and glisten in the moonlight like he had just covered patches of himself with oil. No words needed to be said, the Slayer, could read the expression on her boyfriend's face and she didn't need to guess what the 'oil' was, either. She felt sick. Voilently sick. The world seemed to swim around her and she fought hard to keep her barings. Then she heard a groan. A light and strangled groan, coming from the bushes behind Riley. Groaning was good. Groaning meant 'alive'.

Buffy tried to straighten herself on her boyfriend and angle her body so that she could in the very least stagger over to her friend. Even now her legs were like jelly, her emotions fighting every impulse just to not crawl up into the fetal position and cry her heart out. As she took her first step, she found the grip on her by her boyfriend tighten.

"Don't do it, Buffy. You'll never get it out of your mind. Let me take care of him. It'll haunt you."

New tears started to fall as she turned her head to the man holding her back. "He's my friend. He needs to know I'm here for him. He needs to know I care about him. That I don't think he's a 'zero'."

With as much sensitivity he could muster in his face and voice, the soldier looked down at his girlfriend's frantic features. "He knows, Buffy. He know's how you feel about him. But he wouldn't want you to see him like this. So please, don't."

Buffy yanked herself out of Lt Finn's grip, intent on ignoring his plea. "He's my friend, Riley. I'm not going to leave him, because you tell me too. He didn't leave me when Anya told him to, so I'm going to show him the same loyalty. If you want to stop me, your going to have to knock me out."

**_DOADOADOADOA_**

The Slayer didn't see what happened next, but she did feel it. She had just turned her head back to facing the depressed bush when she heard Riley's voice whisper, 'if that's my only choice', followed by a sudden static discharge from a bolt gun. She awoke an hour later with the help of some smelling salt's curtousy of a Corporal Simmions.

During her 'nap', she learned that Riley had contacted the local Army Base and ordered a Medic Team to treverse the hilly terrain with a stretcher and retrieve Xander along with some of the other parts of him they found. This bit of news actually DID make Buffy throw-up.

The Corporal, being as tactful as he could, decribed her best friend's injuries as appearing to be a result of an attack by some landbound Great White Shark. By the time she was escorted into the Base Hospital the entire place was already buzzing with medical activity and all for Xander. Giles, Willow, Tara, her mother and even pj clad Dawn were all waiting for her in the visitor's lounge as Riley liased with the people keeping Xander Harris alive and in a stable condition. It was hard for her to be angry at Riley at this moment for knocking her out, she was feeling too numb to worry about something so minor.

For the rest of the morning she and the other's kept their ear's open for any information that was exiting the operating theatre. But for whatever good news that was given, it was also supported by twice as much bad. By 5 am, Xander's Medical Team all concluded that everything would be an effort in futility and that it would be more humane for him to pass on with some measure of dignity. As Xander had the forsight to nominate Rupert Giles as his Primary Decision Maker (not his parents, thank God) the decision to 'pull the plug' fell to the man he considered more a father then his biological one.

It was only as this desperate task was being considered, that Lt. Riley Finn had an idea on how Xander LaVelle Harris's life might be saved.

_**DOADOADOADOA**_

*** THIS WAS A LONG ONE PEOPLE, SO I EXPECT REVIEWS :-)**

*** FOR THOSE WHO ARE CURIOUS, THIS IS A CROSSOVER WITH 'ROBOCOP'.**


	2. Chapter 2

FROM THE AUTHOR:

I was contacted by a Fan who enjoyed the new Robocop Movie and they begged me to continue this story. His plea was really, really moving. It was clear he was a major fan of Robo. For the last 4-months I have been writing this in my spare time. I hope it is worthy. Please let me know your thoughts.

DOADOADOA

As soon as she walked into the room she felt a chill overwhelm her. Truth is she wasn't sure whether the sudden cold snap was the atmospheric temperature of the room, or from suddenly spying one of the most dearest people in her life in the condition he was in.

Lying haplessly upon the Army made bed was a young man who had fought battles on behalf of the world, a man whose valour and courage was limitless to her. And here he lay, ghostly pale, sickly and with tubes and nasal prongs offering him oxygen. A male island surrounded by a mechanical ocean.

She instinctively wanted to rush to his side, embrace him and make whispered assurances to him that everything would be all right now. Unfortunately, she could not. Fore TV was a false presenter. Her mind drifted quickly to television shows like 'ER' and 'General Hospital' and not once in either programs, when depicting the life threat of a patient where there as many equipment encompassing them as what was now circumnavigating Xander.

An hour earlier the surgeons presented themselves to her and the rest. They used clinical terms to describe what they could and couldn't do. For the most of it the sentences all started with 'We are sorry, but we couldn't …' and it would lead on from there. They used gentle words to describe the horrors that were now befalling her eyes. But at the end of the day, the gentlest of words … the most compassionate of descriptions … could not hide the truth. That truth was that Xander was now an amputee.

Both his legs had been ripped off; the muscles in his right arm had been shredded to the point of uselessness. His right-eye had been gouged from its socket and he had been eviscerated. The fact that he had survived making it down the Mountain as well as into surgery was a miracle. To still be alive after several hours of operating room time was something, considered by his medical team, to be beyond even that. But after 8-hours of work the Surgeon's both knew they were fighting a losing battle. That the crude attempt at disembowelment was far too effective. That he would … 'expire' the second the first piece of life-saving machinery was unplugged.

The explanation that had been given to the Medical Team was that Xander had been out camping with her and Riley and when he went to answer the 'Call-of-Nature' he was beset upon by a rabid bear. No-one believed the story, but they were all acting as though they did. But that was 'Sunnydale' for you.

Still standing at the now closed door she frighteningly offered his name to the room. "Xand?" Her voice was horse and not as smooth, soft or as gentle as see would have preferred it to have been. She would have preferred many things; yet this was definitely not one of them. She wanted to offer him a strong warmth in her tone. One that would offer him faith that nothing but the most casual of procedure had been performed upon his body and that recuperation was going to be a breeze with all the sexy female nurses attending to his wants.

She wanted him to believe in her lie. Desperately.

She carefully looked at his silent, peaceful face and feared that this would be her last opportunity to ever express herself to him. The Doctor's had told her that he would be awaking from the anaesthesia right about now, but that he would be maintained on a standard dose of morphine to help manage his pain. And that he would most likely be groggy and unable to communicate given how 'doped-up' he would be.

Given how dire their prognosis was, she could expect him to pass-on by the end of the day … a week at the most. That this could be her last time to speak with him. She didn't want this to be the last time; she wanted there to be a thousand other times. And though she didn't want to disturb his rest, and though she knew that in his waking she might be thrusting him into pain. She needed to speak to him. She needed to desperately know if he could ever offer her forgiveness for exposing him to this life that was her responsibility alone and directing him along the dangerous path that had led him to this moment.

Half of her wanted him to remain still and slumbering, for in this rest there was no distress. Yet this was only half a hope, the other 50% desired a reaction. And a reaction was what she received.

Groggerly and with what looked as if it was one of Hercules Labours the source of her concern opened his lone living eye. Through the slits of his eyelids chocolate perfection twinkled at her. But it was clear to her by their unfocused gaze that he was not able to take in his surroundings clearly. Buffy had been drugged many times, but her Slayer Metabolism would enable her to focus through the worst of the toxins. She knew that Xander would not be able to see her, and that for him it would be like looking through a veil of mist and smoke. She just prayed that he could hear her … that the medication that was being administered was not so high that he could not make sense of her words to him.

"H-hey. Had us worried there Xand."

The brunette Scooby did not answer except for minor tugging at the corner of his mouth upwards to offer her a weak smile. This was the most he could give her, not words, not gestures, only a smile. But it was enough.

Buffy nearly broke down in tears of relief, he was smiling. Smiling was good. Smiling meant 'Happy'. Smiling meant - meant those kinds of things to everybody else except for Xander. Xander would smile to offer her confidence. Xander would smile through pain, and heartache, if it sparred others the same. She felt a warmth flush fall over her face to help combat the chill she felt inside. An angered heat. How could Xander 'play' her like this, like she was somekind of a stranger to him. She knew him better then that. And she reacted like such.

"You're a real Jerk, Xander. Stop - stop smiling at me." To this command the corner of his mouth dipped, making him look miserable and now even more damaged to her eyes.

If it was possible she now felt worse then when she had entered the room.

Carefully, she sat on the edge of the bed and stared blankly at one of the monitors before her, trying not to disturb the contours of the mattress as she mentally rebuked herself for what she had just said and how she said it. Focusing on the various monitors in front of her so that she would not have to look at his bandaged stumps and half-bandaged face.

With softness in her voice and tone that she had wished she possessed when she said his name earlier she strode further with her words. "You're a Jerk, Xander. You got my sister crying her eyes out. Mom and Willow as well … Giles … Tara … everyone … ME! What kind of person makes the people who love him cry? The kind of person who is a jerk, that's who."

Buffy turned towards his face and it was like she could hear his words in her head. Did she truly know him that well? She 'felt' what he would have said, and how he would have expressed it. Maybe it was just her imagination? Maybe she was 'hearing' what she thought he would offer her. Regardless, she proceeded as if these words were his.

"We called Anya. Tried to get her here to join us. To tell her what had happened to you. She said she was busy. That she was on a date. A Date, Xander. With a Dentist, no less. She told me everything, and I mean EVERYTHING. She didn't 'leave-you', like you said. You dumped her! She asked if you had feelings for me after we did the Joining Spell and you told her 'Yes'! She gave you a choice, her or me, and you chose me! That's when the name calling, the insults came in isn't it.

"WHY? Why would you do that? I'm with Riley, Xander! You know I'm with Riley. Why would you tell her that?"

Silence. The one-way dialogue within the room paused for several seconds as Xander looked at the elder Summer's daughter. Nothing but compassion and affection unspoke in his eye. After an uncomfortable moment the shaking and horse voice returned to the Slayer.

"No, no Xander. Don't. You can't love me. Not still. You had a crush. Anya was real, I'm just a … a fantasy in your head … your heart." Buffy wiped her eyes clear with the back of her hand. "How could you still love me after all this time? We're not teenagers anymore, Xander."

Silence.

"I'm an emotional mess, Xamder. When I'm not 'needy', I'm jealous. When I'm not jealous I'm completely dismissive of the other person's own feelings. All my relationships are train-wreaks, Xander. Angel, Parker … now Riley. What makes you think things would be any different with you? You'd be better off without me. You'd have been better off if you had never met me! How could you have told Anya that you loved me more? Why?"

Another frozen moment followed her last question. A moment that carried with it more emotion and desire through a single unfocused look to her then ever she had ever received in her life. The male Scooby may not have been able to speak the words to her, but there was no misinterpretation of what he wanted to say. And those words were: _'Because I do, and I always have.' _In not being able to speak these words it offered them a power over her. And she knew, he knew, that if he could have spoken them aloud their relationship would be a short-lived one. And one borne more out of sympathy, guilt and pity then anything genuine.

"Xander, I can't be - I feel for you. I do. But, I can't. I mustn't."

Silence

"Why? Why can't I? Because, I'm with Riley for a start, that's why. Riley who is right now pulling every clearance string he can in order to get you better. That's why."

Xander's almost seemed to frown at the explanation, or maybe that was again just her imagination, just as this whole 'discussion' was. Maybe, it was her. Maybe she was the one who was in 'L' word territory. Why was she arguing with herself … trying to convince herself … that there was nothing more between them then friendship? And if so why was she losing her own argument against herself? Was she really that delusional?

Yes, true, there had been moments between them. Strong moments in the past that had presented her with overwhelming emotions for him. But those emotions quickly faded as they returned back to the standard pattern and roles of their lives together. One as 'Hero'. The other as 'Jester'.

But now there was no hiding who they both were and what they both truly meant to the other. He was dying … and what was worst, she believed he knew it too. He could probably feel it happening, even through his medicated haze. She had to deal with this, if not for her, then definitely for him. For five years he had been at her side. Never did she doubt that when her time came that he would not be there with her.

Cordelia, Willow and Anya always made references to his 'crush' on her. Even Faith had inquired once into their 'relationship' and thought it surprising that the two of them were never hot-&-heavy with eachother. And despite all her faults, Faith was observant. But she always laughed it off.

How could it be possible that all these four people, people who knew both of them the best, see these things and yet not herself?

Buffy continued to stare at one of the machines infront of her as she processed her understandings. Then it incredible happened. She didn't even know exactly how, but when she concluded her pondering she noticed her left hand was full. Looking down she saw that Xander's lone-uninjured hand had captured her own. Startled, she searched out his face. The expression it bore was horrifying, yet they're held a satisfaction of accomplishment to what he had been able to do. If opening his eye and offering a light smile was akin to one of the '12-Labours' for him, then this was something significantly greater. And he had achieved it for her. How could she doubt now that his love for her was not 'the-real-deal'?

"Oh Xander." The voice cooed gently from her as every wall she had ever erected around her heart began to crumble down. There was no conscious manipulation this time; it came out of her naturally. And this was far too cruel a realisation for her. "Why couldn't this have happened earlier? Year's ago?"

She lent down and lifted his hand as much as she dared and rubbed its back across her cheek. A simple tactile sensation that made her heart beat faster and break all at once. "What are we going to do, Xander?"

As she expected, no words were offered, except for the ones she believed he would have said. Closing her eyes she decided to make a dangerous pledge to him. One that would give him hope where no hope existed. One that would offer him the possibility of happiness even though she knew that in giving him the belief of happiness that it would most likely end up being an express ride to Hell when her time eventually came.

"Xander, if you promise to do everything you can to get better. If you swear to stay with us and not give in. If you vow to fight this. Then I give my word that I'll be waiting for you." She felt the grasping hand give a soft and weak squeeze to her own.

"This not a bribe, Xander. It's a promise. A promise to you that I will not go anywhere. And when you get back we'll - we'll see. That's all I can say. I'm not going to play with your heart. Not with your emotions, not with your feelings – yours or mine. You frightened me tonight Xander. You terrified me, and as weird as it is for me to confess this: I never want you to stop frightening me like that – ever. Everyday I want you to scare me to death with your impulsive bravery. I don't want that to ever stop. Do you understand?" Buffy took a slow breath before she proceeded further through her emotions. She felt the worst kind of dirty. The kind of dirty that a thousand high-pressured showers would not be able to clean off her body.

"My Dad left me, I dealt. Angel left me, I dealt. Parker 'played' and left me, I dealt. If Riley or Giles ever leave me, I would be able to deal with it as well. But if you ever left me, Xander - if you had perished up there whilst Riley and me were in that stupid booby-trap. That, I know from the very bottom of my heart, I would not have dealt with. I know this. In my heart and soul - I know this. If you had died up there Xander, it would have killed me inside. So if you promise not to kill my heart, I can promise you it'll be waiting for you when you get out of here. And then … then we will see if this could work between us. But first you have to get better – so is it a deal?"

When she opened her eyes once more she looked towards Xander's face and saw his eye close. She quickly turned to one of the monitors and saw that his heart, though beating slowly and erratically, it was still beating. She then turned and bought the back of his hand to her lips and offered it a light kiss. "Just promise me, Xander." She then placed it levelly besides him released his hand's grasp from her own. Wondering just how much of her words, her oath, had made it to his ears before he fell back into unconsciousness.

She hoped all of them did, it was a beautiful lie. A lie crafted out of genuine love for the man.

She had seen death so many times in so many forms that they were both on first-name-bases with one another. And she saw it all about this room … on the monitor's … on the face of this bravest of men. Even if Riley was successful, what quality of life would he have? She knew Xander. She knew him well enough that even if he was to survive but remained … changed … damaged … that he would release her from her vow. But she would never release herself from this gut-wrenching disgust she had for herself at that moment for giving him this 'hope'.

With heavy footing she walked back out of the room, and back towards the chaos of emotions of Xander's chosen family.

DOADOADOA

As the Slayer entered the Waiting Area of the 'Ft Sunnydale' Army Hospital she wasn't at all surprised to see everyone still in the same holding position they all were when she had left their presence just 5-minutes earlier.

Dawn was sitting middle, between their mother and Willow and Tara. Her eyes stained red with both Will and Tara offering her whispered assurances that Xander would pull through despite what the doctor's had told them all earlier. Their mother, her arms draped over the back and shoulder of her youngest child. Silently offering her as much emotional strength as she could spare as she herself was dealing with her own heartache at losing a surrogate-child of her own.

Giles standing over by the Nurses Desk demanding a second-by-second account of Xander's progress and Riley pacing up-and-down one of the adjoining corridor's, talking rapidly on a secure mobile- phone-unit.

Buffy would have preferred her return to have gone un-noticed for several moments longer. But Dawn had just looked up and had seen her standing by the vending machine. "BUFFY!"

All eyes were now upon her. When the Doctor's were only willing to permit one person to visit with Xander, everyone with the exception of Tara and Riley volunteer themselves. Even Giles and her Mother. It was decided, with a great deal of complaining from Dawn and Willow that she be the one to go instead (mainly because at the last moment Joyce and Rupert changed their vote, deeming Dawn far to young to be confronted with what might lie awaiting her on the other side of the door. And Willow who was presenting far too emotionally fragile).

Everyone, with the exception of Riley (who was still engrossed in his phone call), raced over to join her by the Coffee-Vending Machine.

"How is he?"

"Is he awake?"

"Can I see him now?"

The questions struck her like bullet's shot from a gun. It took everything she had in her not to break out in tears. Instead she plastered across her face an encouraging smile. "He resting now … you know how lazy he is … put Xander on a bed and he's sawing-logs-like-a-Canadian-Lumberjack within seconds."

The false-humour earned a strangled laugh from Giles who nodded appreciatively at her effort to try and belay the concerns of the four females.

"Can I see him? I wanna see him. I wanna …" Dawn pulled herself away from her mother and began to make the journey to Xander's room. She wasn't prepared to take her sister's word for it. She needed to see him for herself.

Buffy dashed to intercept her younger sister before she got too far down the corridor. "Dawn, stop! He's resting."

"I'm not going to wake him … I just want to see him. How come you get to see him and I can't? Your only, like, 3-years older then me."

"You're not going to see him because I'm not going to let you!" Buffy then grabbed her arm and with all her strength she pulled it back. The motion pulled Dawn momentarily off her feet and sending her sliding back down the polished corridor in the direction she had come. The image was like a bowling ball rolling down the alleyway with Giles, her mother, Will and Tara as the pins. Fortunately Dawn's sliding-momentum came to an end a foot before she crashed into them.

The collective expression of shock met her as tears began to descend down the Slayer's cheeks towards what she had just had to do. "You do not want to go in that room, Dawn! None of you do! Count yourself lucky. Your memory of him can be pristine and beautiful. Mine? My memories of Xand will be haunted by what is laying in that room right now … what me and Riley found up that mountain. That's going to stay with me forever."

The little sister drew her self up on shaky legs and growled out defiance. "You can't tell me what to do! You're no my mother!"

"No, but I am." Joyce came up behind her and gently turned her around to face her. "If Buffy is saying that you should not go into that room, then you shouldn't."

"But Mom …"

"If you care for Xander … if you love him, then he would not want you to see him like this. Ever."

"She's right, Dawn." Tara spoke up. "I haven't known him for as long as you or Willow. But I like to think that I am a good judge of people. And Xander would never want anyone he loved hurt because of him. And Xander *does* love you, Dawn. The last thing he would want is to have you carry this memory of him."

Dawn rubbed her red and swollen eyes. "He … he loves me?"

By this time Buffy had joined the group, her features soft. "Yes, Dawn. Xander loves you. He loves you so very much. We were in fact talking about you before this whole horrible thing happened."

"You're lying." She said, not willing to accept a single word from the person who had just picked her up like a feather and flung her back as easily as a person would throw a paper-aeroplane

"No. Slayer-Swear. He was telling me how … that … that you're a young-woman now, not a child. An amazing and incredible young woman. And that I have to start acknowledging that you're not some kid anymore. That you have real-adult-like emotions and because of that I have to start being equally adult-like and to be sensitive to them. That I should start behaving like the big-sister I claim to be. That I cannot just pass you onto someone else just because I believe I have something more important to do. Because *nothing* should be more important to me then you. And I promised him I would do that, Dawn. And *that* is a promise I have every intention of keeping. And as your big sister it is my job to protect you, even if it's from yourself … and especially from what is lying behind that door."

Dawn then lunged at the Slayer, but unlike before it was not an assault but rather surrender. She buried herself into her sister's embrace and wept new tears. "Why couldn't you have been this cool tomorrow? Why out of all the days when I want to hate you, you say something like that? Cause now I can't hate you, damn it."

Buffy's grip around her younger sibling tightened. "Because it was only tonight, Dawn that someone really amazing forced my eyes to open and to see what was right in front of me. Life … especially the life I live … is far too fleeting for it to be wasted on not showing how I feel to the ones I love the most."

Just then, Riley Finn, jogged over to join the group. "After three-hours of denials and stonewalling I finally got in touch with, well, someone important. At least I think they were important."

"Who?" Giles asked.

"Sorry. With these people they never give names. And to be honest, Giles, I was more then a little surprised that I got as far as I did. If I didn't know better I would swear they were just waiting by the phone for my call to come through. Anyway, they have a Black Unit en-route even as I speak. They should be landing on the Helicopter Pad in 30."

"That's quick." Joyce said.

"These people are Professional's Ms Summer's. They do things in only one-speed. They'll be collecting Xander and taking him to an undisclosed location. And from there on …"

Willow drew herself away from Tara. "We can't go with him?"

"Not even *I* can go with them, Will. And my clearance is, well, pretty decent. As soon as they claim him, he becomes their property."

"Property?" Joyce repeated aloud. "I don't think I like the sound of that."

"Sorry, Mrs Summer's. I misspoke; I meant they take responsibility for him. We can't have a say in where they take him and what they do."

"I agree with Mrs Summer's." Tara said. "That doesn't sound reassuring. In fact it sounds scary."

"I know. But it is how these people live their lives. They come from the 'Dark' and they return to the 'Dark'. Their spectre's … not really spectres, obviously. But they are as good as. What I'm saying is that these people might have the tech to give Xander the best chance he has to live. And considering that the best chance he's got now is '0', well, I think we should take their offer and be grateful."

"Ahem. Xander has made me his Power-of-Attorney in life and death matters." Giles said. Looking about the raised eyebrows of half of the group. "Oh, don't be so surprised, do you honestly think he would have wanted his parent's to make those types of decisions? They were told their only-child was in a critical condition several hours ago and they still haven't shown up. I have the authority to sign any formal or legal paperwork on his behalf."

"There won't be any." Finn replied.

"What?!" The Englishman said.

"Giles, these people don't leave paper-trails. We give them Xander and keep our fingers crossed that they are able to help him. That's it."

Giles looked around the group, suddenly feeling unsure. "I don't think I can make this decision. I need to know more. Their intention's for one. I can't just surrender, Xander, without knowing the specifics."

Joyce nodded. "I don't blame you. We don't know who is taking him, what they are going to do with him … we don't know anything."

"We know …" Riley Finn spoke up again. "That they will afford Xander a better chance to pull through and survive this attack then if we just leave him here or any other Hospital. They have access to science that is literally decades ahead of what the general population presently has access too."

"But why?" Willow asked, intrigued. "Why are they doing this for Xander?"

"They're not doing it for Xander; they're doing it for me." Riley said. "After A.D.A.M. I have a bit of a rep with the guy's with the Star's on their shoulders. It might not be as impressive as some, but they owe me … they owe 'us' … they owe him." He said pointing his finger down the corridor to where Xander's room lay.

"This is them, the Big-Boys, returning to us the favour. And as it presently stands …" Riley sighed. "The Doc's here are telling us Xan is circling the drain. All they can do is keep him alive … but the longer he hangs on the more machines they will need to hook him up to. Soon, very soon, you probably won't be able to make it into his room with the amount of machinery he will have in there. And even with all that hardware there is still no guarantee that he will even survive the week."

Giles nodded solemnly. "I say we put this to a vote. As much as I love the boy, there are just too many unknowns. I say Nay."

"Nay.' Was Joyce's vote, spoken half a second after Giles announced his. Dawn's face was a face of pure betrayal at her mother's lone word.

"I say Yay" The young daughter said, making eye contact with her mother as she did so.

"Yay" was Riley Finn's vote.

"Nay" Spoke Tara. She then added, hoping to defend her decision to her fellow Wiccan. "It is his time, Willow. The Goddess has plans for all of us, I am sure she*"

"Where was the Goddess's love when he was being savaged? WHERE?" Willow snapped at her Lover and Soul-Mate. "Where was she then? I vote Yay! A hundred-Yays! A thousand!"

Tara bowed her head, now regretting having spoken.

"We have a tie." Giles looked to Buffy. "You're the decider, Buffy. If we are going to turn this offer down we must be united before they arrive to collect him."

Buffy closed her eyes. Her mind racing back to her promise to Xander just four-minutes earlier. Back then his survival was in the low digits, even lower then the low digits, and she was willing to say anything … promise anything to him … to give him hope. She had asked him to fight even though she knew that it would be a losing battle. She promised that she would be waiting for him … that she would explore the possibility of taking her friendship with him farther. These Black Op's people were giving him a chance. It might be a slim chance, but it was still a chance.

This was her decision.

To be free of her vow all she would have to do is vote in the negative and then Xander was as good as dead. Maybe it would be kinder and easier if she did … sure Dawn and Willow would probably curse her guts. But Mom and Giles would understand.

But this wasn't about what she wanted … this was about Xander. She had to give him that chance.

"So at the end of the day, it is once again all on me. Big surprise." Buffy put her hands on her hips and looked about the expectant group. Everyone was waiting for an answer. She then put her hands into her pockets. In the right one she felt an alien object, her fingers tracing out its size and features. She closed her eyes and nodded … it was Xander's pocket knife. The one she had used to kill the last demon … the Demon that had Xander's blood on its hands. Suddenly her decision became a great deal easier.

"Xander would move Heaven and Earth for anyone of us. There would be no risk that would be so great that he wouldn't try. I have faith in him. I may never have said those words to his face exactly … but I do. I have more faith in him then I have ever had in myself. I'm sorry, Mom, Giles. I have to give him this chance. I can't sit back and watch him die. I … I have to vote 'Yay'. I want him to live. And what comes after? Well, we'll deal with that when it comes."

DOADOADOA

In true dramatic fashion a darkened Blackhawk Helicopter landed on the Helipad and a half-dozen men in black balaclava's and black fatigues jumped from the rear cabin. Jogging in formation through the emergency entrance. Following behind were two stressed out evac-medics and behind them a casually dressed man smoking a cigarette … strolling.

He wanders through the front doors as though he had been coming-and-going through this building a million times before hand. Ignoring the many 'Non-Smoking' sign's attached to the walls. The stranger's path making a direct and lazy approach to the surprised group.

"You Finn?" He asked, knowing full well the answer.

"Yes, Sir."

"The Meat-Puppet still alive?"

"Err … Harris? Yes, sir. But the prognosis is not *"

"Yeah, yeah. Slim-to-none. Heard it before." He said with as much distain in his voice as he could muster. Acting as though he wished he was anywhere but there. This was a great tactic in confusing people's perceptions. Generally if you made them incensed they would focus upon the words and not the physicality's of the person. Get a person riled enough and all they would clearly remember would be the offensive comments and not the stats. In the past people had said he was between 5'6" and 6'2". With slight too medium build. Dark blonde or light brown hair. Between 30 and 45 years of age. These 'Scooby's would be no different. By the time he would leave them they would all argue different description till they were all blue in the face. The fact that one of his men, one who had just run past this group a minute before hand, had been ordered to disable the security camera's throughout the Hospital before he had even entered the building … well, that was just pre-emptive thinking on his part.

"You call him that name again …" Buffy stepped forward to engage the 'stranger'.

"And you'll what? Way I look at it; I'm the guy you have to be 'nice' too. I don't have to take him y'know. I could turn around and walk out that door and the next phone call you make is to the guy who carves out the Tombstones in this dump of a town. '_Here Lies Some Dumb Shit Who Decided To Duck Instead Of Weave. May he Rest in Pieces.'_ You're asking me to spend million dollar technology on a nobody. So show some fucken gratitude, Blondie."

Buffy swallowed her pride, and as much as she wanted to break the guy's nose … he was absolutely correct. He could leave and Xander's only chance to live would then, literally, fly away with him.

Acknowledging he had gained a dominant advantage over the group, the advantage was further pressed forward. "You would be warned, girlie, to stay on my good-side for the next two-minutes. I'm already cranky because some silver-tail thought his shit doesn't stink as much as the rest of us. A soon-to-be-fucken-Private who thought himself so damn popular with the Brass and Stars that he called the Pentagon in the wee-hours of the morning demanding … *DEMANDING* mind you … that they pull out all the stops and come save the Day!" The Smoking Man then turned on his heel to stare Riley in the eye. "You try and pull that shit again, Soldier-Boy, and they will find pieces of you in a dozen dumpsters in a dozen states over the span of a dozen months. And if you don't think I would do that then you don't know me and what I'm fucken capable of. An' I'm capable of a whole fucken lot! You feeling me, Soldier?"

Just then a gurney was being hastily rolled by. Its passenger's body and face covered. Several attached mobile units rolling besides being handled by the half-dozen accompanying soldier's. All as the evac-medics maintained strides besides the rolling bed reading off readings and alerts to one-another.

The smoking man clapped his hands together to draw attention back to him. "So are we doing this, PeeWee, or not? Cause as soon as he makes it to the chopper, he won't be coming off until we reach our destination. Clear?"

"You'll take care of him?" The female with red-hair asked.

"No." Was his answer. "I'm not promising that. I ain't running some Day-Care, Lady. I will say that me and my people will make it extra hard for death to lay its kiss on 'im. But that's all."

"Fine." Buffy said. "Take him. But if you …*"

"Don't try and threaten me little girl. I give the threats … I don't receive them. And food for thought, bottle-blonde, if you decide to open your yap again think on this: I have the control codes to four fully-armed-to-the-teeth Drones. Your home wouldn't be the first crater made because of a 'malfunction', you got me?"

Giles cleared his throat. "How will we know if he survives what you do to him?"

"You won't. You never will. He's our problem, not yours." With that the aggravating man pulled from his pocket a Certificate and handed it to the British National.

"This is … this is Xander's Death Certificate. But he's not dead yet."

"As far as you're concerned he is. Same goes for the IRS and any other Government Office. Harris died 8-hours ago in ... what did you people call it? Bear attack? Cute. Anyway, so sad for your loss and all that. Poor boy's body mangled beyond recognition."

Just then another Gurney was being wheeled in through the emergency entrance. But upon this gurney was a black body-bag. A Body Bay that looked as though it was Occupied. "Would have been here 15-minutes ago, but I had to organise a collection of a John Doe from a Morgue on-route. Drug Addict I think got himself a hot-shot. He met your boy's age and height. Didn't look anything like him though. Had to take to him with a hacksaw. Messy job, especially in a chopper. But the turbulence really helped sell the ragged cutting. Had to use one of the Sergeant's Combat Knives to peel the substitutes face off. Y'know, give it a really savaged-by-a-bear makeover. Won't pass close scrutiny, but it won't need too now that you have a Death Certificate will it? Cremate or bury the fucker, don't care. But as of right now, Mr Xander Harris is dead, may he rest in peace."

And just like that the man who had walked into the Waiting Area just one minute earlier left as though he was never there. With Buffy, Willow, Riley, Dawn, Joyce and Giles being left in collective silence as they heard the Blackened Assault Helicopter rise up in the pre-dawn sky.

"Umm … I would like to change my vote." Dawn whispered out as both Willow and Riley nodded their agreement.

Buffy watching the black outline of the flying vehicle move further and further away from them … away from her. Holding tightly in her fist Xander's pocket knife.

DOADOADOA

Not a free ride people :-). Read and Review. What do you think?


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